I'm Pissed!

There are 4 things in life I value the most.

1) God
2) Family
3) Friends
4) Work

They give me purpose, they give me a reason to grow, they shape the person that I am and the person that I want to become. So when someone, especially a friend, screws me over, I get really pissed!

Sa tinagaltagal ko nang nabubuhay, ngayon lang may nang-gago sa akin ng ganito. (At marami akong kilalang gago....) Siguro sasabihin ng iba, ang babaw, pro for a person who values friendship and work ethics as I do, hindi sya basta-basta biro lang…. Pambabastos na sya!

Ganito kse yung kwento:

May ni-report na NCOS bug sa module ko, so syempre, finix ko ng maaga. I need to go home early kse. So around 6:30, nagpaalam na ko sa AM namin. Sabi nya, oki lang daw. Included na yung fix ko sa NCOS release, testing na lang ang kulang. So fine, umuwi na ko. Nakapagpahinga din after a long while at makakapanood ng Myx live with Barbie… Mga around 8:50pm, nag-text ang isang officemate/”friend”. Sabi nya pinapapunta daw ako ng AM namin sa office. So syempre, ako naman, nagpanic… inisip ko baka nag-cause ng bugs yung fix ko… at NCOS release yun, kaya nakakahiya tlaga kung merong bugs. Since nakapambahay na ko, kumuha na ako ng damit pang-alis, tina-try kong tawagan yung officemate/”friend” ko, pro kina-cancel nya. Then nag-text sya… “Joke”…. AAAAHHHH!!!! PUTANG INA!!!!!!!!! (di sana ako magmumura, pro sabi ni isang TUNAY na friend, kelangan ko daw ilabas!) na-bad trip tlaga ako! Sooooo pissed!!!!! Yung parang gusto kong manapak!!!! AS IN!!!!!

Siguro nga pra sa iba, nakakatawa… at mababaw lang… NOT FOR ME!!!! I’ve been a good friend….. Hindi pa hinihingi sa akin, binibigay ko na… handa akong pumatay, all for a friend… ganyan ako… kaya inis na inis ako…Of all the people na pwedeng gumawa sa akin nun, kaibigan ko pa . I TRUSTED him because he was my “friend”, or I atleast thought he was. What the hell was he thinking, toying with my emotions like that???!!! What an ASSHOLE!!!!!!!! ANG KAPAL NG MUKHA!!!!!

And for him, wala lang yun. It was a joke… he never said sorry… (although, even if he did, I wont accept it!)

What if isang araw, nag-text ako sa kanya at sinabi ko na “Uy! Yung anak mo daw, nahulog sa hagdan!”…. sabay text na “Joke lang! Hihihi..” No one in his right mind would do that di ba?! Fine, cge, “work-related” naman yung hirit nya… pro ndi ba sya NAG-ISIP na baka IMPORTANTE pra sa akin yung work?!!! WHAT A FRIEND??!!!!

Para sa akin, friendship, or any relationship for that matter, is like glass… maganda, pro fragile. Pag binasag mo, u can glue it back together…. But it’s just not the same…. May lamat na…

Perhaps in time I can forgive, but NEVER will I forget… ganyan ako… deal with it. I can be the warmest person in the world when it comes to my friends… but I can be a bitch when it comes to people I don’t like. (Although technically, I’ve never been a bitch to anyone…. At least, not that I know of…and up until now… )

Don’t get me wrong, hindi sa tinatapon ko ang lahat ng pinagsamahan namin out of the window…. Ayoko lang masaktan uli… precautionary measure, ika nga. Like a friend once told me, kung alam mong kakainin ka ng wolf, bakit mo pa sya kakaibiganin…. Di ko sya naintindihan nun, pro ngayon, naiintindihan ko na.

Ang mga taong tulad nya ang napapaalala sa akin na wag kang basta-basta magtitiwala… the world is indeed a fucked up place…. Di ka dapat mabait, otherwise, you wont survive.

Gusto ko tlagang ibalik sa dati ang lahat, pro I’d be lying to myself… ito tlaga ang nararamdaman ko…nagpapakatotoo lang ako… masama ba yun???

From now on, he’s just someone I know. Just like any other officemate…. He will never again feel the warmth of my friendship… it’s beyond my control… it’s what I really feel…

he had it coming, I guess….

Ever wonder why there are bad people in the world? I mean, when one thinks about it, we were all created to be intrinsically good. So what happened from the moment we were born up to the time Satan has claimed our hapless souls?
...

Imagine a little girl in anticipation of Christmas… Hoping and praying that Santa Claus will be giving her the gift she always wanted. She’s been a good girl all-year-long, so she can’t think of any reason why Santa won’t give her what she longs for. So Christmas morning she goes down the stairs, then BAM! She looks under the Christmas tree and see NOTHING! The loss of innocence… The realization that the world is fucked-up place and no one can possibly care a damn about her… Santa does not exist… Probably because some other bitter kid has killed him already…
She wakes up the following morning, armed with the knowledge that dreams don’t come true, that fairies don’t exist, and that kindness is nothing more than a mere word used in movies. No, she is not the same person she was yesterday… Without effort and remorse, she has changed…


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Do not be fooled by the absence of tears,
for deep inside this harlequin is a broken face,
a wounded heart, and trampled soul….
-Anonymous

Happy 8th Birthday!!! :)

Happy 8th birthday Jas!!!
(note : biological age=23; mental-state age=8 :) )

wow.... ang tanda mo na...peace!
grabe, ang dami plang nagmamahal syo??? kala ko kame-kame lang ang nag-tsa-tsaga! hahah.... joke lang.... :)

di na ko mag-lalagay ng something mushy dito... nakakahiya, baka mabasa ng kung sino.... baka masira image ko... :) basahin mo na lang sulat ko na nakalagay sa scrapbook.... :) speaking of, sana magustuhan mo sya.... pinaghirapan namin yan.... all for u :) [tama na, nag-sta-start nang maging mushy....]

c gloi na lang kausapin mo..... :)

"one week" victim uli?!!!

for the 2nd time... na-biktima muli ako ng "one week"

the first time, sabi nila, one week lang daw kami sa Cebu... Ang pangakong one week... lagpas 2 buwan na (61 days, to be exact...)

at ngayon naman... umuwi na c jas... sabi nila, one week lang, magkikita-kita kami uli.... ang pangakong one week.... naging halos isang buwan...

ang ng tokwa! (or anak ng tofu... kung gusto mong maging sosy...) biktima na naman ako!!!

oh, well, di naman ganun kasama ang loob ko... Cebu has it's perks.....
hirap nga lang kse halos lahat ng friends ko nasa Manila... :(

Day 51: Cebu Exile

Day 51, tuesday...

A bottle a day keeps insanity away......
Been drinking C2 since nagkaroon sa e-diner dito sa Cebu office...
wala lang, trip... feeling ko kse pag napansin nilang ang daming bote dito sa desk ko, ma-re-realize na nila na ang tagal na namin dito... hehehe.... :)

SOOOOO CLOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Matagal ko na dapat itong na-post… hindi ko lang tlga ma-put into words ang naramdaman ko nung time na yun…

September 4, 2005 : Concert ni Kitchie sa SM Cebu. Maaga kami dumating sa venue. Pagdating namin sa venue, nakita namin na may ibang event… Close up something..something… we didn’t care, I mean, who would, right? So umalis kami sandali pra kumain ng early dinner, pra hindi kame gutumin sa concert ni kitchie. After eating, bumalik kame sa venue. Tapos na yung Closeup event, tinatanggal na ang mga upuan, balloons, banners, etc. Naghintay kami sa labas, kala namin pine-prepare na yung place for the Kitchie concert, hanggang naisipan ng isa kong kasama na tignan yung posters na naka-post near the venue. Nakita namin yung poster nung Closeup event…. And guess what?!!!! Special guest ang BARBIE’s cradle…. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing…. Nanlamig ako, nanghina…… DAMN!!!! I was thinking to myself….”No, hindi totoo ‘to….. dissolved na ang band, baka naman lumang poster ito… hindi… hindi … wala c Barbie dito… hindi ko na-miss ang opportunity na makita sya… wala sya dito… wala….noooo..” While in denial, nakita namin ang isang staff ng SM. Tinanong namin kung anu na ang nangyari sa concert ni Kitchie. Sabi nya, postponed daw. Bad trip db?! Pero ito ang pinaka-MASAKIT!!! I asked her kung tlagang pumunta ang Barbie’s cradle to perform sa Closeup event… she said. “yes, they were here, they actually sang 4 songs. Late na nga cla dumating e.” ANAK NG TUPAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! At this point…. Nagdilim na ang paningin ko…. My knees were beginning to fail me…. I could feel the tears about to fall…. I was literally SOOOO CLOSE to seeing her… and I BLEW it!!!! DAMN!!!! Nakakainis….. ang tanga ko tlaga…. Bakit hindi ko kagad na-connect ang Closeup event ke Barbie?!….. GAGA!!! Ewan ko ba kung bakit, pro I was sooo down, ang jologs no?! Ganito nga cguro ang “fanatic”…. like “lunatic”… BALIW!!!!

habang pauwi...bilang pampalubag-loob….. bumili ako ng mocha frap….pro sumakit lang lalamunan ko, depressed pa rin ako…. Sad…. So sad…. Hanggang ngayon, I really feel down…. It would have been nice kung nakita ko sya… :(


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And ive tried different kinds of ice cream
And some made my throat sore
But you were only bliss
So ill visit you in dreams
[Dear Paul, Barbie's Cradle]

“Housekeeping…………”

As of 3:00pm this day, the word “Housekeeping……” has a totally different meaning (“different” by the way, is an understatement!)

Bakit kamo?!

(enter dramatic flashback music, with matching blurred images……)

Before anything else, just a backgrounder…

This is somehow a rule for us… “One shall always be DECENTLY clothed in the presence of the other”. Ang common line sa conversation namin habang nasa sulok ng room si Duckie at ako naman sa “hidden side ay : “Duckie, Are you decent?”

Anyway, balik sa kwento….

Habang nakaupo sa kama ko, busy transferring files, my roommate (na itatago natin sa pangalang Duckie…*wink..*wink) was changing her clothes. Biglang may kumatok….ang sabi “Housekeeping….”. Nagpanic c Duckie, (at medyo inaantok at sabog dahil kakagising lang…) Nasa isip ni Duckie “Hindi ko pwedeng buksan ang pinto pra sabihing mamya na lang sila maglinis, naka-bra at shorts lang ako… aha, c nina!, sya ang dapat magsabi….” And this is where the scary part is…… “Nina, housekeeping, ikaw na ang magbukas ng pinto….” For a good 5 seconds, she was in front of me, wearing what could be classified as a “beach outfit” (if you’re planning to get a good tan, that is….)… Sa part pa lang na sinasabi nya yung name ko, nag-freakout na ko… and somehow, she has no idea why… Yun talaga yung nakakatawang part…. Clueless sya…. HAHAHA…..

After the five-second torture I experienced, nakahalata din ang loka… she carried her clothes in her arms and ran towards her bed. (parang “raid scene” sa isang beerhouse...) Ako naman, pumunta sa may pinto pra kausapin ang housekeeping and to reassure them that the screaming they heard was not part of any slaying… Although all things considered, it might as well be….. Pagpasok ko uli sa kwarto, nakabihis na sya…. Thank God!!!

Hanggang ngayon, natatawa pa din ako pagnaaalala ko… HAHAHA…..

PEACE!!! DUCKIE!!!

Myx Celebrity VJ.... :)

yey!!!

guess what?!! Myx Celebrity VJ c Barbie for the whole september!!! :)

yey!!!! :)

yun lang....

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10 days before STEP 1.2 release....
huhuhuh...
OT galore na naman!!!