kanta lang...

Pag-alis
by barbie's cradle

kung wala ka ng gustong sabihin
wag ka nang tumingin ng ganyan
kung bukas ako'y kalilimutan
sana naman ngayo'y di mo na isiping ako'y tawagan
at habang may panahon
wag na nating hintaying lumalim pa
at masakit ng tanggapin
ang pag-alis ng iyong liwanag na gumigising sa mahabang gabi
ika'y langit pero baka masanay
at di na kakayanin ang iyong pag-alis
kung wala ka ng gustong marinig
ako'y aalis at mananahimik
ang kahapon na nais kung limutin
sana naman wag ng manumbalik at bigyan pansin

hindi ko alam...

Gym Day 1

20 minutes on stationary bike
20 minutes on treadmill
20 minutes on rowing machine
= 1 hour of self-inflicted torture.

For a person who hasn’t stepped inside a gym for nearly 3 years and has done nothing that could amount to anything “physical” within the same timeframe, day 1 of gym is nothing but a bucketful of pain and a fountain of sordid sweat. But that’s not the worse part of it. After beating myself up for “fitness-sake”, I went straight to the lockers and walla! I was greeted by one of my worst “fears”…. Women in towels…. But wait! There’s more! I was advised by the instructor to try the sauna to loosen up my tensed (and badly-beaten) muscles. Being the obedient kid that I am, I half-heartedly followed. It’s bad enough that they (toweled women) surround me, but to join them… now that’s a totally different story! After about 10 minutes of discussion with edaine (my officemate and fellow “gymer”) regarding the “proper decorum” in the sauna, with grave hesitation, I entered the dark & steamy room. I was seriously avoiding any form of contact (even eye contact) from the two other ladies inside. I sat there for about 15 minutes, then hit the showers, then went straight home.

I think I’m slowly becoming a masochist…good luck na lang sa akin! Hehehe…

You Don't Love Me Anymore

The song just popped on my head this morning...
dont know why...
maybe subconsciously i feel less loved? hehehe.... OA...



We've been together for so very long
But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong?
Seems you don't want me around
The passion is gone and the flame's died down

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem
That time that you made out with the whole hockey team
You used to think I was nice
Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Antichrist

Oh, why did you disconnect the breaks in my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore

I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You're still the light of my life
Oh darling, I'm beggin', won't you put down that knife?

You know, I even think it's kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down that elevator shaft

Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometime I get to thinking you don't love me any more

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers

Oh, you think that I'm ugly and you say that I'm cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead

Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me you don't love me any more, oh no no
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore

[approximately 10 minutes and 2 seconds of silence]

[some loud and spontaneous noises]

Leaving and change...

Leaving and change...
I've grown to hate those words. I don’t like it when things I’ve gotten used to are suddenly not there anymore. Waking up in a different bed, walking in a different street, and meeting and being surrounded by new people... it scares me.
Leaving or being left behind... I don’t know which one is worst. What difference does it make? You end up missing people anyway.
But what really sucks the most is that no matter how hard I try to stop things from happening, they still will. Things will have to change and some people will leave and some will be left behind.
I guess all that’s left to do is to make the most of today. Live it as if it would be my last. Walk the same streets over and over again and try to appreciate them a little bit more. Show more love and affection to the people I really care about the most. Because who knows, the change I am so afraid of could happen sooner than I think.

-----------------------

When was the last time I told you I love you?

best advice i heard today...

"baka she's adjusting too"

----

tama ka, salamat. galing mo tlaga magbigay ng advice! :P

common courtesy

common courtesy...
yun lang naman ang hinihingi ko,
hindi ang mundo, hindi ang buhay mo, at hindi ang pagmamahal mo.
mahirap ba yun?

seryosong usapan na 'to...

oo, yan ang ipanglulumpo ko syo! manyak!!!
kamay ko lang sana ang gagamitin ko,
kaso ayaw kong marumihan ng nakakadiri mong dugo!

ang labo mo kase e!

And there's no cure
And no way to be sure
Why everythings turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired
I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart

---from the song Sway by Bic Runga

pwede pong bumati?

Happy birthday to a dear friend... CAROLINE!!!!!
Matanda ka na rin! :)
Good luck sa tate!
pasalubong ko ah?!!

what the first person says...

im currently reading "The 5 People You Meet in Heaven".
I'm currently on the 3rd person. :)
So far, so good. I particularly liked this statement by the first person (the Blue Man).

"No life is wasted. The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone."

wala lang. :)

January 03, 2006 : Words of the day

English:
reveille (n.)- A signal to get up out of bed.

Japanese:
たんじょうび - "tanjoubi"; means birthday

plans for 2006

wala lang, naisip ko lang gusto ko silang gawin... :)

1. watch atleast 2 movies in a movie theater per month
2. FINISH reading atleast 1 book per month (the keyword being "FINISH"!!!)
3. Workout atleast 3 times in a week
4. have a "word for the day" one in english, one in japanese. (so gradeschool... hahaha)
5. play atleast one song per month, using the harmonica
6. try to learn more about C, C++, and Java
7. learn to cook atleast one dish per month
8. spend atleast 5 minutes per day on reflections
9. gimik atleast once a month
10. try to go out-of-town atleast once every 3 months

mas concrete na plans ito... mostly for a "holistic" personal growth (although karamihan dyan, puro pasarap lang sa buhay... hehehe)

While writing my "year-ender report", i felt like i missed alot of things during the past year. So this year, i plan to do a lot of diverse things, pra di naman ako ma-bore at mag-inarte na naman na napaka-empty ng buhay ko.

these past few days, i dont feel that emptiness and numbness i used to feel before. Maybe because im in the company of good friends and i have been doing several "fun" things. Siguro nga, yun ang solusyon sa kabaliwan ko... :)

got to go... uwi pa ko sa apartment today. may pasok na bukas! :P

Year-ender report

hhaaayy....another year has passed. And what have i done with the 365 days 2005 has given me? hhmmmnn.... let me see:

Jan
-Start of the VGS project. I seriously could not remember anything else.

Feb
-My 22nd birthday. Got a treat from my "batchmates"(wink..wink..) hehehe....-It was also on my birthday that i learned of the infamous knock-knock car jokes...

March-April-May
-Exile to tsukiden...
-All the rest was a blur...

June
-mabel and i started looking for a house / apartment.
-start of VSGW project

July
-We moved in to the apartment we found at Honda street.
-Start of the "one week" Cebu exile

August
-I bought barbie's first solo album : Barbie the singles

September
-Barbie was myx celebrity VJ for the month of september.
-The haunting housekeeping incident took place. (brings tears to my eyes... hehehe....)

October
-flew back / "escaped" to manila

November
-the hatchasia bombthreat... hehehe...

December
-for the love of country, family, and friends, i wore a dress to the company christmas party.

hhhmmnn... Sadly, nothing of great value was done during this year, career-wise, that is. What a waste. I wish i could have done more. But as far as my personal life is concerned, id like to think i made a lot of close friends this year, and even managed to stay in touch with the old ones.
Hopefully, this coming year, i'd be able to do more with my life.