I'm Pissed!

There are 4 things in life I value the most.

1) God
2) Family
3) Friends
4) Work

They give me purpose, they give me a reason to grow, they shape the person that I am and the person that I want to become. So when someone, especially a friend, screws me over, I get really pissed!

Sa tinagaltagal ko nang nabubuhay, ngayon lang may nang-gago sa akin ng ganito. (At marami akong kilalang gago....) Siguro sasabihin ng iba, ang babaw, pro for a person who values friendship and work ethics as I do, hindi sya basta-basta biro lang…. Pambabastos na sya!

Ganito kse yung kwento:

May ni-report na NCOS bug sa module ko, so syempre, finix ko ng maaga. I need to go home early kse. So around 6:30, nagpaalam na ko sa AM namin. Sabi nya, oki lang daw. Included na yung fix ko sa NCOS release, testing na lang ang kulang. So fine, umuwi na ko. Nakapagpahinga din after a long while at makakapanood ng Myx live with Barbie… Mga around 8:50pm, nag-text ang isang officemate/”friend”. Sabi nya pinapapunta daw ako ng AM namin sa office. So syempre, ako naman, nagpanic… inisip ko baka nag-cause ng bugs yung fix ko… at NCOS release yun, kaya nakakahiya tlaga kung merong bugs. Since nakapambahay na ko, kumuha na ako ng damit pang-alis, tina-try kong tawagan yung officemate/”friend” ko, pro kina-cancel nya. Then nag-text sya… “Joke”…. AAAAHHHH!!!! PUTANG INA!!!!!!!!! (di sana ako magmumura, pro sabi ni isang TUNAY na friend, kelangan ko daw ilabas!) na-bad trip tlaga ako! Sooooo pissed!!!!! Yung parang gusto kong manapak!!!! AS IN!!!!!

Siguro nga pra sa iba, nakakatawa… at mababaw lang… NOT FOR ME!!!! I’ve been a good friend….. Hindi pa hinihingi sa akin, binibigay ko na… handa akong pumatay, all for a friend… ganyan ako… kaya inis na inis ako…Of all the people na pwedeng gumawa sa akin nun, kaibigan ko pa . I TRUSTED him because he was my “friend”, or I atleast thought he was. What the hell was he thinking, toying with my emotions like that???!!! What an ASSHOLE!!!!!!!! ANG KAPAL NG MUKHA!!!!!

And for him, wala lang yun. It was a joke… he never said sorry… (although, even if he did, I wont accept it!)

What if isang araw, nag-text ako sa kanya at sinabi ko na “Uy! Yung anak mo daw, nahulog sa hagdan!”…. sabay text na “Joke lang! Hihihi..” No one in his right mind would do that di ba?! Fine, cge, “work-related” naman yung hirit nya… pro ndi ba sya NAG-ISIP na baka IMPORTANTE pra sa akin yung work?!!! WHAT A FRIEND??!!!!

Para sa akin, friendship, or any relationship for that matter, is like glass… maganda, pro fragile. Pag binasag mo, u can glue it back together…. But it’s just not the same…. May lamat na…

Perhaps in time I can forgive, but NEVER will I forget… ganyan ako… deal with it. I can be the warmest person in the world when it comes to my friends… but I can be a bitch when it comes to people I don’t like. (Although technically, I’ve never been a bitch to anyone…. At least, not that I know of…and up until now… )

Don’t get me wrong, hindi sa tinatapon ko ang lahat ng pinagsamahan namin out of the window…. Ayoko lang masaktan uli… precautionary measure, ika nga. Like a friend once told me, kung alam mong kakainin ka ng wolf, bakit mo pa sya kakaibiganin…. Di ko sya naintindihan nun, pro ngayon, naiintindihan ko na.

Ang mga taong tulad nya ang napapaalala sa akin na wag kang basta-basta magtitiwala… the world is indeed a fucked up place…. Di ka dapat mabait, otherwise, you wont survive.

Gusto ko tlagang ibalik sa dati ang lahat, pro I’d be lying to myself… ito tlaga ang nararamdaman ko…nagpapakatotoo lang ako… masama ba yun???

From now on, he’s just someone I know. Just like any other officemate…. He will never again feel the warmth of my friendship… it’s beyond my control… it’s what I really feel…

he had it coming, I guess….