Now, I love Canada... :)

I may have mentioned how much I don't like Canada because of the freakingly cold weather. But now Canada has redeemed itself in my books because of this:



Canada has Image+Nation! It is a yearly GLBT (Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transsexual) Film festival. And I'm sooo going today! :)

Hopefully, I'll also be able to join the Halloween party later tonight to celebrate the last night of the festival. My costume? I'm going as an Asian IT engineer. :P Let's see if they'll buy that! Hahahaha...

Yey Canada!

Updates! Updates!

• still here in Montreal, Canada. I was sent here for 3weeks to help in the "recovery plan" of a problematic platform.
• some of the people in the office are wearing costumes and giving away candies... Halloween's in the air.
• Julius Caesar just passed by the corridor, throwing candies towards our tables... funny shit...
• it's cold... it's freaking cold!!! (but according to the news, it's still warm)
• gravity is pulling me towards Red... Lord help our faint hearts... I don't think I'm ready for this just yet...

sleepless in Montreal...

what is this?

what are we?

what are we doing?

what does this mean?

... but thing is, I'm afraid to ask because I wouldn't know what to do with the answer, what ever the answer is...

im not so sure if it's bud's fault...

Last Friday night, Donna and some of her officemates met up with me for a few drinks at Ice Cold bar near Somerset. I brought Yellow and Red with me, both of whom were wearing dresses. Lord help me. I'm such a sucker for women in dresses...

Anyway, everyone seemed to be enjoying the evening. Both Yellow and I drank about 4 bottles of Budweiser, Donna drank Hoegaarden beer as big as her head. Red on the other didn't drink alcohol at all.

As we were all engaged in conversation, I was sitting next to Red and I noticed that her right hand was comfortably placed on top of my thigh. The next thing I knew, my left hand found it's way to that hand of hers and held it. I'm not so sure if I should blame the 4 bottles of bud, or my inborn stupidity for that. (Or it's another case of my body parts conspiring against me... I know, I'm crazy... but is that news for anyone by now?!?)

After what could be three seconds of tiny little voices shouting in my head "STOP, WTF ARE YOU DOING MORON! STOP! LET GO OF HER HAND!", I casually let go of her hand and pretended to scratch my head. My hand never touched hers again after that. (Sobriety taking over, I guess)

In my defense, it's not my fault. Her hand left her turf first. Had her hand not been there, I would not have the stupid and impulsive idea of holding it. <---- lamest excuse in the history of mankind, next to "my dog ate my homework"

I know... I know... I should know better. I should never send signals to people at this point, especially when I'm not even sure if I like them that much. That's just asking for trouble.

But the thing is, maybe I really do like her... why else would I subconsciously want to hold her hand if I didn't?

But then again, maybe I just held it because it was already there, so accessible and ready for the taking...

And why am I even stressing over this? What are we? 12 year olds?! (in terms of maturity level, for my case, maybe yes.) Maybe for her, it's not even a signal? It's not even a tiny green blob in the radar.

And why in the world were her hands there anyway?! She has her own thighs, for heaven's sake! Maybe my thigh is just a really comfortable place to rest one's hands on?!

Women are just confusing people... I confuse myself most of all. Makes me wonder sometimes why I want to go out with them... oh yeah, they look great in dresses... among other things. :)

.... Welcome to the mind of an over-analyzer...

Can I sue Budweiser for this? :) hehehe...

500 days of summer...

... copied my life. Well, not really. But watching the movie reminded me so much of my life.

I think the movie's storyline is so universal, almost everyone in the theater was laughing and crying along with me. (Ok, maybe not the crying part, but you get the point)

Here's the trailer:


WARNING! If you have not watched the movie and do not wish to read spoilers, do not read beyond this point! I repeat, DO NOT READ beyond this point.

Ok, You have been warned.

The movie summary in a few sentences:
- It's the story of Tom, meeting and consequently falling in love with Summer.
- Tom and Summer's fun memories as a couple.
- Summer leaving Tom because she's not happy anymore.
- Tom falling into the all-too-usual break-up despair.
- Summer marrying another dude. (yes, ouch!)
- Tom picking-up the pieces and starting over.

Yes, it is not a Pinoy movie where the leads still end up with each other (I'm looking at you John Lloyd and Bea, and the falls hopes and dreams you stand for, with utter disdain!) --> am I bitter or what?! hehehe...

One scene that just did it for me was Tom's 488th day while sitting in a bench with Summer. He asks Summer why she ended up marrying someone else when she couldn't even commit to him:

Summer: “One day I woke up and I just knew.”
Tom: “Knew what?”
Summer: What I was never sure of when I was with you

OUCH! That was quick and brutal. But at least it was honest. It makes you want to scream to the top of your lungs, but you know it's pointless. You can't make people love you.

And probably the best advice from the movie was from Tom's much younger sister:
Rachel: Tom, I know you think she was the one, but I don't. Next time you look back, I think you should look again.
[Enter a montage of video clips of Tom and Summer's happy AND not-so-happy moments together]

I guess, break-ups are difficult because we have a tendency of being caught-up in the "what could have been"'s and the "what about our future together"'s.

It's not just the loss of the relationship we're crying about. We're also mourning the death of the dreams we have so elaborately planned in our heads. (and if you're a dreamer like me, we're talking about a mass burial!) It's late that we realize that maybe this person we are so miserably crying over isn't just the person for us.

But I guess the biggest realization I got from this movie, is that I may not be really ok now, but I am most certain that I WILL BE. I WILL BE OK!

It is, after all, only my 381st day... :) hahahaha.... magbilang daw ba?! hehehe...

death by coffee...

In the past, I've managed to stop myself from being a full-pledged coffee addict. In fact, prior to this week, I haven't been drinking much coffee. Probably, on average, I'll be drinking about less than a cup in a month!

But now, as a result of the boring week-long Oracle DB Admin training and endless late-night chatting, I needed to resort to drinking coffee again in order to survive the rest of the day.

And since I'm not used to that much caffeine in my system, my heart starts to palpitate after the 2nd cup. But does that stop me from drinking a 3rd and 4th cup? Nooooo...

I'm soooo dying young.

uhummmm..... *smirk* *smirk*

... did you just admit that you like me? :D

I'm sorry...

I didn't do it to hurt you.

Please understand that I just needed to do it for myself. I just don't want to feel this awful pain anymore and I'm doing any means necessary for me to do that. And it is, in no way an indication of how much I care about you.

I will always care about you.

I am sorry.