A certain wave of clarity washed over me...

Pathetic as it may sound, I spent the entire night last night until 4am today crying.
Well, atleast not continuously. I did manage to chat with good friends in between my bawling.
Yup, apparently I'm capable of shedding tears. Surprise! Surprise!

The past 90 days of my life came rushing back to me. It was like being caught is a whirlwind... the ups, downs, twists, and turns... now I feel I've been thrown out of it's cycle and all that's left is absolute chaos.

I thought she needed space. I gave it. The same day, she said she doesn't want it afterall.
But what I've realized last night was that I was the one who needed space.

I woke up today thinking there's no point in getting up. But somehow I managed to put myself back together, then a certain wave of clarity washed over me. I'm surprisingly doing well, or perhaps I'm just in denial.

Is this the calm after the storm, or am I just in the eye of it, and sooner or later, I'll be taken on a spin again? (yes, we're back in the whirlwind analogy...)

Today, I feel I'll be fine, But let's just see what tomorrow holds.