funniest "wrong-send"

"Pwde po b pkplbs ung POKEMON kc pang bta po kc un sna po iplbs nyo ult,kc bnlk nyo lng amn ung KNOCK OUT dba bt nyo pa pnlbs,UNANG HIRHT PLZ"

LOL...

Several people have been giving me links to this clip, but it was only recently that I managed to find time to watch it... It's crazy-funny! Enjoy!

no point in pointing-out the obvious...

I wanted to write a review-cum-rant about the movie Dragonball Evolution. But aside from not knowing where to begin with all the crap, I just realized too many people have already said what needed to be let out.

In a nutshell: "What the fuck was that?!"

That being said, instead of dwelling on all this negative energy, I am opting to be a bigger person and I am walking away. (wow! I feel so mature!)

So instead of ranting,ladies and gentlemen, I give you a compilation of funny baby videos (did I mention something about me being mature? yeah... forget about it!)

Charlie bit me:

Beware of younger siblings... WE may seem innocent, but we'll bite-off fingers and get-away with it by laughing cutely...


Firetruck:

One of the very few reasons why I want to be a parent... imagine all the words you can teach... bwaaahahaha...


Blood:

Yeah, blood is not funny... it's extremely funny!


Proof that women are the stronger sex:

the boy either tries to kiss the girl or eat her shoes... 

so what's a girl to do? shove him and act innocent, of course!

Sleepy Baby

Put this kid in a cubicle and you've got an instant vision of me at work... :)

May isang batang di nakatiis... (part 3)

Day 3 - Sunday

Started the day by watching some episodes of the series we started the other day. By lunch time, we walked to Plaza Singapura to eat some Japanese food for lunch.

yes, you have to act shocked while eating sushi

someone's happy about their ramen

After lunch, since it was so hot, we decided to get some ice blended coffee at The Coffee Club.



After coffee, we went back to watching movies and series.

By 10pm, we prepared our stuff as we needed to head to the Airport soon...

The ride was short and soon we were at Terminal 2. We had late dinner at Burger King, and then soon, it was time to part ways again.

We walked towards the immigration gate and made the usual goodbyes...
I thought as we made these more often it would get easier, but somehow it's a bit more difficult to let go each time.

I wasn't quite sure what to do next when she had disappeared from my sight. Then, I decided to go to the taxi stand, but halfway through, I went back to the immigration area.

Somehow, there's this selfish side of me that was half-hoping there had been problems so she had to stay behind or something (bad noh? well, I did say selfish, right?!)

A few minutes of standing in front of the immigration gate, it was apparent that for my own sanity, I had to get out of there. I once again went back to the taxi stand, and in a few minutes, I'm back to an empty room that I can never call home. Home left a few minutes ago... :(

I know, I know, I should stop ending these stories with sappy sadness... thus I bring you a very unrelated, but terribly uplifting video of the sneezing baby panda...



I know, WTF? :)

Why parents should not have video cameras...

Note to self: DO NOT get an anesthesia from the dentist.

Why you should always rush buying food...

After buying lunch and logging-in back to YM:

neni: adik! im back..
neni: :)
tin: tagal mo kumuha ng fud
tin: nambabae ka noh
tin: hahahaha

Nalunok ko ata yung isang buong strand ng mama noodle nung nabasa ko ito... hehehe...

No Sir, That’s NOT an elevator button…

I was on the MRT on my way home tonight. As the train stopped one station before my stop, a drunken Indian guy moves near the train doors to alight. While the door was opening, he reached for the Emergency Button near the door and then leaves the train as if he has done nothing absolutely absurd. (not to mention illegal)

The train captain issued a public announcement, prompting whoever pressed the button to speak on the intercom to relay whatever the "emergency" is. A few seconds later, 2 MRT officials went in to check the train and obviously found nothing.

This is the first time I’ve seen this happen, and I doubt this kind of this happens often.

But the really weird thing was NO ONE reacted AT ALL. No one was pissed-off, no one scratched their heads, and more importantly, no one laughed (well, except for me)

What the hey?! My MRT rides are becoming weirder by the day...

Cultural diversity is killing my humor-mojo

Not to toot my own horn, but I've been called "funny" quite a number of times (but maybe not as much as "crazy") by a number of people.

I just can't stand serious conversations. There will always be a voice or image in my head taunting me to say something self-deprecating or at least make me burst out in mad laughter with no apparent reason. (Much to the horror of anyone near me)

But living on this island has kept me from being my usual unhinged self.

If there is one thing I find difficult about living in a different country with so many different kinds of people, it is definitely not the weird food, nor the homesickness, nor the language, nor the weather. It's this constant need to explain the point of my joke! Jeez! Now I know what it feels like to be in Jas' big shoes (peace!)

Seriously... I have great punchline delivery (with matching props and other audio-visual effects!?!) and awesome comedic timing, and not to mention proper diction and grammar(well, maybe not that "proper", but definitely better than most of them here)... But alas! Everyone seems to be left with this gigantic question mark on their forehead each time I say something “funny” (or “offensive” depending on who you ask… :) )

Oh well, it could be worse. At least there isn't a full repertoire of duck jokes made in my honor! (peace uli! :) )

I'll be leaving you with this image, because apparently, ducks are f&^*-ing funnier than me!!! What's happening to the world?!?!

image stolen from courtesy of duckjokes.blogspot.com

how will you know?

#1
How will you know if the suicide rate of a country is high?
When they start putting signs like this in the railways...

Train station's "not-so-subtle-do-not-commit-suicide-here-damn-it!" sign

#2
How will you know when journalists here have nothing to write about...
When they waste paper and ink for things like this...

This is news??? One hour power outage??? again, this is news???

#3
How will you know if the accident rate is low?
If you have a small sign that reads "Fatal Accident [Date/Time of Accident] [number you need to call if you have information]"
If this was done in the Philippines, we need a seriously big board... "Fatal Accidents..."

#4
How will you know if you are using a CR in an IT company?
The picture of the toilet bowl contains a CD, mouse, and keyboard...

Yeah, apparently we crap-out computer peripherals

#5
How will you know when you're crazy?
When you go to a grocery store and see a bunch of decorated pumpkins, then at the top of your lungs shout "si mabel!!!"

Does this mean I'm screwed?

while studying the config files of the system i'm trying to learn, i came across this very interesting config file for the database :
(some words are omitted... it's an awfully long comment for one config flag... )

#STRONGLY DISRECOMMENDED
#Setting this flag to true may lead to subtle
#and bizarre bugs.......
#......... This is a terrible setting......
#...supports transactions "partially" (this is oxymoronic,
#as the whole point of transactions is to perform operations
#reliably and completely, but nonetheless such
#database are out there) .....
#........ ..... //some really long explanation why it's bad
#...............................................
#..... otherwise, setting this to true is just a BAD idea
#
#flag=false
flag=true

need I say more? :)

my everyday funny things

I was waiting for my collection to reach 10 before I share them, but I am way too bored so I'm doing it now...

#1

When you hear a conversation that's something like this:

Saleslady: "Yes, what do you want?"

Customer: "Malay ko!" (I wouldn't know!)

You'd more or less expect a word fight to break-out between those two. But not here in Singapore, especially when you're in this "Siopao Store".

Ma Lai Ko I think is some pastry? I guess if you'd ask me, it's safe for me to say "aba, malay ko?!"

#2

Because this blogpost is about funny things, of course it wouldn't be complete without any "remember-to-mock-jas-statements". So jas, this one's for you! (peace!)

mock the duck! mock the duck! mock the duck!

#3

I like going around in bookstores, even when I don't intend to buy any book. I find a certain sense of peace doing it. But somehow this one trip I had to the bookstore didn't do that...

Does anyone remember laughing while reading "A Walk to Remember" or "The Notebook" ? Hmmnn... I guess they find it funny... ???

the "humour" section in a bookstore

#4
One factor to consider when moving here to Singapore is the food. Sadly, there is no Jollibee outlet here yet. You know why? Because when Jollibee tried to cross from Philippines to Singapore, poof! he turned into a bean...

i was told that this store is NOT at all related to jollibee, so forget the bee-to-bean fairytale I told you. (shame on you if you believed it though! hehehe...)

#5
Need to wipe yourself clean? Try...

tekla... hhmmmn... i wonder how it smells... :)

#6

And looking at #5 reminded me of an old picture I shared a few posts ago...

tom tae..."genuine taste from the..." i can't read the next word... is it sea? who cares?

now this is insane...

14 Spy Squirrels In Iranian Custody

spy squirrels???
they should have used tarsiers...
i bet they'd be better spies!



-----
ps... thanks to donna for the link :)

ang cute-cute

from http://www.funnyordie.com.
Warning: Contains slight violence, but the baby's really cute!!!

I AM THE LAW!

funny pro-animals video... :)

this is so cute and funny...



(so don't eat animals... :) ) hehehe...