how to make "kontra" a "supladang bruha"

I was in the gym, minding my own business in the abdominals machine. Then suddenly, a Chinese lady, probably in her early 30's approaches me:

lady: "how many more sets will you be doing?"
me:(fumbling to remove my earphones) "oh, will you be using it?"
lady: "why else would I ask?" (mataray ang bruha!)

nagtimpi lang ako, but if I was a bit more unhinged, malamang nasabunutan ko na sya. But instead of giving in to temptation, I managed to compose myself and I smiled at her.

me: "oh, sorry. because you look like you really don't need to work on your abs" (in fairness, kahit mataray si ate, sexy sya... panget nga lang... bwaaaaahahaha...)

lady: (blushes 2 shades of red) "Oh..." (long and really really awkward pause)
me: "here you go" (sabay alis sa machine)

and that's how you make kontra a supladang bruha... :P

I don't want to take a bath anymore

No, I have no intentions of being a full-pledged "taong grasa" and neither is this an attempt to "blend well" with the "crowd". I just don't want to take a shower anymore after my workout in the gym.

It's not because of un-towelled(if this is even a word?!) women. It's because of Rick Astley. No, he did not magically appear in the locker room of the gym (now that's just way too creepy...)

The reason is his annoying 80's hit "together forever" that's haunting the gym halls at almost exactly the same time as my routine shower time. And shower time is the only time I don't have my earphones on! Is that bad timing or what?!?! And this tragedy happens almost daily at almost the same time!!!

I actually tried hitting the showers late, so I don't have to suffer ricky-boy's wrath. But then, yet another annoying song is booming out of the speakers... "I should be so lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky... I should be so lucky in love..."

(yes, I intentionally put a snippet of the lyrics, hoping that anyone reading this will be subconsciously singing it and be equally annoyed. Misery loves company)

And because I am pure evil:


too bad there isn't a roderick paulate version on youtube... that would have been diabolical! :)

Apparently, there are scarier things in life…

If you’ve been reading this blog for quite some time, you know how I feel about women prancing around in towels… In a nutshell, I find it disturbing. (I’m not kidding). Don’t get me started on the many possible reasons… I just do!

Anyway, I applied for a gym membership here, not so long ago, as the current state of my health is equally disturbing. (I feel I’m losing muscle mass and gaining weight at the same time… not a very good combination.)

Going back…Me hitting the gym gives you a pretty good idea what this post is about… the ever scary: “women in towels…” But what I’ve learned today is that, apparently, there are far more scary things in life… Women WITHOUT towels!!!

[blur the screen and insert flashback music…]
I was fixing my stuff in the locker. I was crouching since I chose the lower locker (because I’m a freakin’ midget!) As I closed the door and was about to stand… there IT was...

“Well, hello there, another woman’s hoo-ha, how do you do?”

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Note to self, choose the corner-most locker next time.