To Helena

The first time I saw her, I knew we were meant to be together. She was the most beautiful thing I ever saw and heard. And the moment I held her in my arms, I knew, I just got to have her.

The perfection of her symmetry, the impeccable melody that we shared, I was simply spellbound…

Sa bawat madilim na yugto ng aking buhay, sa bawat ngiti sa aking mga labi, naroon siya, nakikinig, umaawit, nakayakap…

And now, time has been a cruel friend. As of 1:00pm today, December 26, 2005, My dear friend Helena left me. She broke her bridge (that thing holding the string near the guitar’s body). It was beyond repair. I tried my best to put her back together, but not much can be done. The music she produced was broken.

We shared a couple of songs this morning, the first time after a very very long time. And just as we were about to finish our favorite song, the bridge snapped. Had I used her more often, I would have noticed the significant crack near the bridge. I could have prevented the extensive damage…

The least I can do is to make her look good on her last day. After repairing her bridge, I bought her new strings, the high quality ones. I polished her, even her hard-to-clean machine heads. I neatly placed her near my bed, hoisted in my wall. She is as beautiful as the day I first saw her… and I know I shall never love another guitar again, the way I loved her.

Thank you Helena, for being there, for sharing your music, for being a friend up to your very last day. I’m sorry it ended this way. I know you deserve so much more.



Indeed, a thing of beauty...

Of laziness and resolutions

nothing much... been really lazy...i virtually did nothing, aside from breathing, which i did simply out of need...

-----

i was asked kung anu ang aking new year's resolution for 2006...hindi ko pa sya napapag-isipan, pro most likely, the list would include:

1. learning to say NO
it's a quadrant 4 sickness... we're natural-born people-pleasers... But this coming year, i'm putting ME first! (sana :) )

2. saving (as suggested by mabel... hehehe)
i used to say "who needs savings at 22???"...but this coming year, i have to admit, I need savings!

3. living a healthy lifestyle (e.g. right kind of food, exercise, enough sleep... etc...)
hhmmnn... easier said than done right? but this coming 2006, with enough time and motivation, i hope to make things right!

4. learn to play the harmonica
i stopped playing my guitar and piano by the time i was in college (a very personal decision) i try to play once in a while, but the interest is no longer there... too many memories. So this coming year, im thinking of learning a new instrument. I actually wanted a saxophone or flute... but the damn thing is way too expensive (not to mention bulky). So i opted to buy a harmonica (a really cheap one) I hope to skillfully play it before 2006 ends.. :)

5. to wake up!!! most important and yet most difficult... yup! got to wake up and smell reality, daydreamer!!!!

----

ok... back to laziness.....
zzzzzzzzz........

pasko na? na feel mo ba?!

wow! pasko na pla... pro bakit parang di ko na-feel?
nagawa ko naman lahat... bumili ng gifts, nakatanggap ng gifts, kumain ng sangkatutak (although araw-araw naman ata ako ganito kumain...), nagtext ng christmas messages, nagsimba, tumawag sa kung sino-sino... pro wala pa rin... ilang taon nang ganito... wala na yung "rush" na nakukuha ko nung bata pa ko 'pag pasko na... yung tipong ang saya-saya mo 'pag gising mo... haaayyyy.... siguro nga pambata lang tlaga ang pasko...

-------------------------------

nagdinner / overnight ako with my college barkada. tagal din namin di nagkita. at alam mo kung anung napansin nila sa akin? "Nina, anung nangyari sa iyo? bakit ang babaw mo ata today, anung kinain mo? ang corni ng hirit mo ah?!" waaaaaaaaaaahhhh...... 'nak ng tofu (nagulat din sila sa expession na ito)... pati sa mga expression gaya ng "gagah", "dama", "char" at "feeler", naloka sila..... nagtataka sila kung anu ang epekto sa akin ng company ko ngayon... hahahaha..... na-kwento ko tuloy ng di oras ang mga friends ko sa office... at ang mga jokes nila... hehehe.... di sila makapaniwala na may taong capable na mag-deliver ng "honda", "mitsubishi"...etc...jokes... pati tuloy ang duck joke, nakwento ko... hehehehe.... pati yung kalabasa... hahahhaa.... tawa ako ng tawa, habang sila.... completely lost and oblivious.... nagtataka.... (at medyo natatawa sa tawa ko)
gusto nila makilala ang mga friends ko sa work... di siguro makapanilawa... hehehe....
bwaaaahahhaa.... tawang-tawa pa rin ako... :)

babala: mag-ingat sa mga manyak!

p#$^%#!!!!

ngayong araw, 2 istorya na ng pang-ma-manyak ang aking nabalitaan...
(hindi sa akin ah, sa mga friends ko...)

hay, anu na bang nangyayari sa mundo... hindi naman ganito dati...

para sa lahat ng mga manyak:
pag nabalitaan kong naulit pa yun...p^%@#@ manyak ka... ipapalumpo kita!!!... (wag kang tumawa... di ako nagpapatawa...)
kaguhin mo na lahat ng babae sa mundo, wag lang mga kaibigan ko...

yun lang, i rest my case...

p#$^%#!!!!

It's dark and i am lonely

can't help but cry...
baliw na nga ata ako...
it's the brat in me...

----

malamig pla pag wala kang kasama... :(

----

suri roomie... pati ikaw nadamay sa kabaliwan ko... :(
isa lang ibig sabihin nyan... close na tyo... hehehe....feeler! hahaha

----

"'Coz its dark and I am lonely
Only cause I’ve time to be lonely
And living here is bitter as dying "
--barbie's cradle, It's dark and I am lonely

true...

"We are all the walking wounded, your pain is no worse than everyone else’s."

--jessica zafra

numb

numb: (nm)
adj.

1. Deprived of the power to feel or move normally;
2. Emotionally unresponsive; indifferent

i have no idea if im happy or sad... im just floating... which sucks... hindi ko alam kung anung solusyon dito...
siguro kse masyadong de-metro buhay ko... lahat pinaplano, lahat kinakalkula, lahat dapat nakasulat... kaya nakaka-bore kse expected na. im doing the same things over and over again... and im beginning to think im getting sick of it.
i just dont feel any zest for life anymore. Not that i want to commit suicide or anything as stupid. Pro kung oras ko na ngayong gabi, i'll gladly accept.

malala na ba?!


------------

Do not be fooled by the absence of tears,
for deep inside this harlequin is a broken face,
a wounded heart, and trampled soul….
-S. Uta

just when i thought today is a sad day...

salamat sa text... napa-ngiti mo ako... :)

---
galing tlga ni Wise Guy... galing ng timing.... :)
oo na po... tuloy ang laban!

one of my favorite songs...

someone introduced me to this song when i was in highschool....
i loved it ever since. (hindi dahil dun sa tao ah!)
may poetry in between nung kanta. (yung naka-italic)
the poetry is by e.e. cummings
i think this is his best poem..
di nga ako makapaniwala nung una na sya yung gumawa,
pra ksing ang layo nung iba nyang works.
this was sung by lisa angelle.... cno kamo???
di ko rin sya kilala...
basta ang alam ko lang,
this was used dun sa Beauty and the Beast na series dati...


The First Time I Loved Forever

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

The first time I loved forever was when you whispered my name.
And I knew at once you loved me for the me of who I am.
The first time I loved forever I cast all else aside.
And I bid my heart to follow, be there no more need to hide.

And if wishes and dreams are merely for children, and
if love's a tale for fools,
I'll live the dream with you.

or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

For all my life and forever, there's a truth I will always know.
When my world divides and shatters, your love is where I'll go.

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain, has such small hands

Pagod na ko....

How do you fight a battle for someone who thinks the war is over?
Pano mo sasabihin sa isang tao na kaya pa nya, kung ikaw mismo nanghihina na?
How do you save someone from falling kung ang trip nyang gawin ay magpatihulog?
Pano mo pipigilan ang isang taong ayaw magpapigil?

I dont want to care anymore... problem is, i really do...
gaga talaga ako...

----

sorry Wise Guy, i think i failed this one.....
next mission please?....

Patalastas lang...

translated version, kaya parang medyo sablay ang grammar.
Ganito ang mga gusto kong tula. Simple lang, walang kung anu-anung abubot at salita...
pro tumatagos (hindi sa akin ah! )... hehehe....
pra sa mga baliw na sa pag-ibig.... baka sakaling matauhan.... :)

You, Him, and I
by S. Uta
(As Death Finds a Remedy)

I watched you as you glanced at him.
I walked with you as ran after his steps,
I even carried you in my arms when you can no longer go further.

I broke your fall each time you'd throw yourself at him.
But each time, you still insist on standing up and do the same foolish things,
And each time, I was still there, waiting for your fall.

I cried with you when you did for him.
And in silence, I wept for you,
For I know those tears can never be meant for me.

I do not wish to be him,
For I know he is unworthy of you.
But how I envy him, for you feel that he is.

I love you as you love him,
Perhaps even more.
As your heart beats for him, so does mine for you.

And day by day, as the world spins about,
You run after him and I run after you.
An endless cycle that is doomed to end in tragedy.

Perhaps this is how the world turns,
Propelled by fools like us, who cannot see what they have
And selfishly wish for the things they can’t.

Muntik na!

konti na lang sana, nandyan na sya...
Naramdaman ko sya kagabi... pro nilamon ako ng antok at pagod...
Tama ba itong ginagawa ko?
Gusto ko ba tlagang bumalik sya?

bomba!!!

After the Make a Difference Day activity namin, I decided na dumaan muna sa office to fix some of my stuff. Nagkita kami dun ni mabs. At around 3pm, we decided na lumabas pra kumain. Habang nasa hagdan, nakasalubong namin yung bomb-sniffing dog, syempre kasama yung amo nya. Hindi lang namin pinansin. We should have sensed something…..

Nung pabalik na kame sa office, napansin namin na maraming tao. Hhhmmnnn… anu ito? Shooting ba? Shooting? Sinong artista??? (jologs no?! hahaha…)

Anyway, napagalaman namin na meron daw bomba sa loob ng building, at bawal pumasok sa loob. Damn! Yung wallet at cellphone ko nasa loob! Pati yung ke mabs! Ang laman lang ng bulsa ko is roughly less than 400 pesos. (not bad db?) Medyo naghintay pa kami ng konti, ‘till we decided na malamang matagal pa ito. So pumunta kami sa starbucks, inom muna kami ng kape. Ang labo db? Nagkakagulo na nga ang mga tao, nag-kape pa kame?! Hehehe… Tsaka what if sumabog nga yung building, lahat ng pera ko at valueables ko, pati yung mga gamit at money ni mabs, di na namin makukuha… so basically ang meron lang kme ay yung pera ko sa bulsa at lahat ng contents ng coin purse ni mabs. At ano ang ginawa namin….bumili ng over-priced coffee… ang gagah db? Hehehe…. Wala lang. Feeling kse namin, malamang estudyante lang yung tumawag at nagsabi na may bomba sa building. May exam cguro or something… hay naku… tao nga naman.

Tinawanan pa ko ni mabs nnung sinabi kong buti na lang dala ko sa bulsa ko yung ID ko. Sabi nya “Aanhin natin yan?”…. So after nearly two hours, nag-papapasok na sila ng tao. And guess what…. Nasagot na ang tanong ni Mabs… NO ID, NO ENTRY. Hehehe…. Pumasok na lang ako sa loob pra kunin yung ID ni mabs sa drawer nya…. Hehehe…

(Na hindi naman pla kelangan, basta kilala mo si mang dennis… hehehehe..)

Exciting ng sabado namin no? hehehe….

Mga pics sa aking telepono...

nag-bro-browse ako ng files na nakalagay sa camera fone ko.... then nakita ko itong mga 'to... wala lang... hehehe....















bola-bola ni potpot....


















Duckie, on laundry day :) ....


















yanyan bread stick for jas... wehehehe...


















grumpy bear....


wala lang... hehehe....

Duckie... ang pagbabalik....

Nakuha ko na c duckie sa labahan..... :)


Parang balot:
















tada.......
squeeky-clean duckie....
















hehehe... wala lang....
na-miss ko lang sya...

why?!

warum?
¿por qué?
pourquoi?
perchè?
なぜか.


waaaaaahhhhh!!!!!
why????

bakit ba di tyo pinagtatagpo???

hay naku... minsan ko na nga lang aabutan c barbie na mag-perform sa mga place malapit sa amin.... di pa natuloy!!! hmpf!!!!


NOVEMBER 2005
08 - 'Warner Bar Tour' Dish 9PM
08 - Padi's Point Alabang 11PM
09 - La Salle Taft, 89.9 event 12 noon
11 - SM Makati - Cancelled
11 - New Millenium Evangelical 7PM (private affair)
11 - Hard Rock 9PM
12 - San Jose Occidental Mindoro
13 - Market Market - Cancelled
15 - 'Warner Bar Tour' Saguijo Bar 9PM
15 - Padi's Point Las Piñas - Cancelled
16 - Padi's Point EDSA Central 11PM

A Research on Ice Cream

Ice Cream Makes You Happy? Get Outta Here

Morning Edition, May 4, 2005 · Stop the presses: Ice cream makes you happy. Researchers in England say the chilly treat "lights up" the brain's pleasure zones. The study was funded by Unilever, which makes ice cream. Subjects ate 15 teaspoons of ice cream, while MRI technology watched their brains. Turns out, the orbitofrontal cortex -- the "processing" area of the brain -- responded immediately. And that's just from eating vanilla!

src: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4630326

--------------------------

personally...
i dont believe this crap! No amount of sugar, dairy, or any other sinful pleasure, for that matter, can ever lift a dreary spirit up from unfathomable despair... but true friends can.... char! hehehe....

thanks so much guys....i mean it... :)

failure

type "failure" in googles search textfield.
and the first search result is:


Biography of President George W. BushBiography of the 43rd President of the United States.
www.whitehouse.gov/president/gwbbio.html - 25k - Cached - Similar pages
News - Contact - President - Homeland Security
More results from www.whitehouse.gov »


hehehe... wala lang... naaliw lang... hehehe
makahanap pa nga... hehehe...

kung ikaw ako.... anung gagawin mo???

(17:53:38) nene: nina, gusto mo mag-cebu? hehehe
(17:53:52) ninadl: hehehe....
(17:53:56) ninadl: joke po yan?
(17:53:57) ninadl: :-D
(17:54:00) ninadl: hehehe
(17:54:01) nene: question :p
(17:54:04) ninadl: hehehe
(17:54:12) ninadl: serious question?
(17:54:13) ninadl: hehehe
(17:54:14) nene: yep
(17:54:23) ninadl: ilang araw po?
(17:54:27) ninadl: :)
(17:54:33) nene: like months? :p
(17:54:35) nene: hehehe
(17:54:38) ninadl: waaaaa?
(17:54:40) ninadl: hehehe
(17:54:49) ninadl: 2 months?
(17:54:54) nene: 6 months?
(17:54:57) nene: di pa ako sure.
(17:54:58) ninadl: waaaa....
(17:55:02) ninadl: hehehe
(17:55:10) ninadl: for this project po?
(17:55:11) nene: kasi pag pinakuha ako ng tao, gusto ko sana kilala ko na :)
(17:55:13) nene: nde
(17:55:15) nene: pwlan?
(17:55:27) nene: if long term bt ka sa cebu,
(17:55:42) nene: will try to arrange na maka uwi ka naman free of charge :)
(17:55:54) ninadl: hehehe....
(17:55:58) nene: hss ka ngayon di ba?
(17:56:01) ninadl: yup
(17:56:09) ninadl: ask ko po muna c ate may... :)
(17:56:14) nene: cge
(17:56:16) nene: tnx :)

ang ganda ng palusot no? hehehe... parang batang magtatanong sa nanay kung pwedeng sumama sa fieldtrip... hehehe...

so.... anung gagawin ko? sabi naman sa akin, not sure pa naman daw, just in case lang... but 6 months??? waaaa..... di ko yata kaya yun... :(

on the brighter side, i feel honored that nene wants me to be part of her team... haba ng hair ko db? hehehe... (but then again, i'm thinking, maybe she just wants someone from VSGW... pra pag may bug, madali mahatak... :) )

Manila vs. Okane.... hehehehe......

teka... 6 months, so thats approximately 180 days, so since Cebu-time thats, x 11.8days, so total is 2,124days?????? waaaaa....... (5.8 years?!!!!) :O