Firsts..

my first sunshine in japan... from my room window...
















my first lunch... gyudon... (playing safe... will be more adventurous next time.. :) )

Dinner @ matsuya....

dito ka o-order ng food... via vendo...

















ito... hulaan nyo... hehehe... clue: isa sa mga purpose nya is to make sounds pra di malaman kung anung ginagawa mo... hehehe... look at next picture for the answer... hehehe

tada....it's a toilet bowl.. with lots of weird buttons! hehehe...

halata bang masyado akong amazed sa mga nakikita ko dito sa nihon? hehehe...
wala lang...

Welcome to Japan!

it's not as cold as i thought it would be... it's F***ING FREEZING!!!!
gabi kse cguro (ilang segundo lang kme naglakad sa labas....)...

the internet connection is AMAZING!!!!
halata bang yun ang una kong ginawa bago magbihis at mag-unpack? hehehe...

anyways,
ayusin ko muna gamit ko...
at matutulog na rin...

to my dear dear friends....
MISS KO NA KYO!!!!!!

yun lang... :)

aalis na ko....

yun lang...

Salamat...

kahapon sana ito... kso bagal ng net e.... :(

--------

Ang galeng….
Hindi ko tlaga inexpect…
Hindi ko naamoy… and to think malakas ang pandama ko sa mga “surprises”.

Salamat po tlaga… touched tlaga ako…
Salamat sa time at effort, kahit na medyo busy tyong lahat at yung iba dyan nasa malayong lugar… Salamat tlaga…
Wala akong masabi…. Madaming words napumapasok sa ulo ko ngayon, pro sabog… pro basically, it all boils down to one. SALAMAT!!! Hindi ko madalas sabihin yang word na yan, kse para sa akin, kung kaibigan mo tlaga ang isang tao, lahat ng ginagawa nya para syo, ginagawa nya dahil gusto nya at dahil mahal ka nya… wala na dapat “thank u”, implied na yun… kaligayahan nya dapat na gawin ang lahat ng iyon para sa iyo… pro sa pagkakataong ito, kelangang ko syang sabihin… di ko kayang i-contain ang nararamdaman ko… I feel so blessed to have all of you as my friends…
SALAMAT PO!!! At MAHAL ko po kyong lahat….

(ang mushy na nito…. Tama na….)

Sabi ko di ako iiyak…
Hehehe…

kanta lang...

Pag-alis
by barbie's cradle

kung wala ka ng gustong sabihin
wag ka nang tumingin ng ganyan
kung bukas ako'y kalilimutan
sana naman ngayo'y di mo na isiping ako'y tawagan
at habang may panahon
wag na nating hintaying lumalim pa
at masakit ng tanggapin
ang pag-alis ng iyong liwanag na gumigising sa mahabang gabi
ika'y langit pero baka masanay
at di na kakayanin ang iyong pag-alis
kung wala ka ng gustong marinig
ako'y aalis at mananahimik
ang kahapon na nais kung limutin
sana naman wag ng manumbalik at bigyan pansin

hindi ko alam...

Gym Day 1

20 minutes on stationary bike
20 minutes on treadmill
20 minutes on rowing machine
= 1 hour of self-inflicted torture.

For a person who hasn’t stepped inside a gym for nearly 3 years and has done nothing that could amount to anything “physical” within the same timeframe, day 1 of gym is nothing but a bucketful of pain and a fountain of sordid sweat. But that’s not the worse part of it. After beating myself up for “fitness-sake”, I went straight to the lockers and walla! I was greeted by one of my worst “fears”…. Women in towels…. But wait! There’s more! I was advised by the instructor to try the sauna to loosen up my tensed (and badly-beaten) muscles. Being the obedient kid that I am, I half-heartedly followed. It’s bad enough that they (toweled women) surround me, but to join them… now that’s a totally different story! After about 10 minutes of discussion with edaine (my officemate and fellow “gymer”) regarding the “proper decorum” in the sauna, with grave hesitation, I entered the dark & steamy room. I was seriously avoiding any form of contact (even eye contact) from the two other ladies inside. I sat there for about 15 minutes, then hit the showers, then went straight home.

I think I’m slowly becoming a masochist…good luck na lang sa akin! Hehehe…

You Don't Love Me Anymore

The song just popped on my head this morning...
dont know why...
maybe subconsciously i feel less loved? hehehe.... OA...



We've been together for so very long
But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong?
Seems you don't want me around
The passion is gone and the flame's died down

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem
That time that you made out with the whole hockey team
You used to think I was nice
Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Antichrist

Oh, why did you disconnect the breaks in my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore

I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You're still the light of my life
Oh darling, I'm beggin', won't you put down that knife?

You know, I even think it's kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down that elevator shaft

Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometime I get to thinking you don't love me any more

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers

Oh, you think that I'm ugly and you say that I'm cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead

Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me you don't love me any more, oh no no
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore

[approximately 10 minutes and 2 seconds of silence]

[some loud and spontaneous noises]

Leaving and change...

Leaving and change...
I've grown to hate those words. I don’t like it when things I’ve gotten used to are suddenly not there anymore. Waking up in a different bed, walking in a different street, and meeting and being surrounded by new people... it scares me.
Leaving or being left behind... I don’t know which one is worst. What difference does it make? You end up missing people anyway.
But what really sucks the most is that no matter how hard I try to stop things from happening, they still will. Things will have to change and some people will leave and some will be left behind.
I guess all that’s left to do is to make the most of today. Live it as if it would be my last. Walk the same streets over and over again and try to appreciate them a little bit more. Show more love and affection to the people I really care about the most. Because who knows, the change I am so afraid of could happen sooner than I think.

-----------------------

When was the last time I told you I love you?

best advice i heard today...

"baka she's adjusting too"

----

tama ka, salamat. galing mo tlaga magbigay ng advice! :P

common courtesy

common courtesy...
yun lang naman ang hinihingi ko,
hindi ang mundo, hindi ang buhay mo, at hindi ang pagmamahal mo.
mahirap ba yun?

seryosong usapan na 'to...

oo, yan ang ipanglulumpo ko syo! manyak!!!
kamay ko lang sana ang gagamitin ko,
kaso ayaw kong marumihan ng nakakadiri mong dugo!

ang labo mo kase e!

And there's no cure
And no way to be sure
Why everythings turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired
I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart

---from the song Sway by Bic Runga

pwede pong bumati?

Happy birthday to a dear friend... CAROLINE!!!!!
Matanda ka na rin! :)
Good luck sa tate!
pasalubong ko ah?!!

what the first person says...

im currently reading "The 5 People You Meet in Heaven".
I'm currently on the 3rd person. :)
So far, so good. I particularly liked this statement by the first person (the Blue Man).

"No life is wasted. The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone."

wala lang. :)

January 03, 2006 : Words of the day

English:
reveille (n.)- A signal to get up out of bed.

Japanese:
たんじょうび - "tanjoubi"; means birthday

plans for 2006

wala lang, naisip ko lang gusto ko silang gawin... :)

1. watch atleast 2 movies in a movie theater per month
2. FINISH reading atleast 1 book per month (the keyword being "FINISH"!!!)
3. Workout atleast 3 times in a week
4. have a "word for the day" one in english, one in japanese. (so gradeschool... hahaha)
5. play atleast one song per month, using the harmonica
6. try to learn more about C, C++, and Java
7. learn to cook atleast one dish per month
8. spend atleast 5 minutes per day on reflections
9. gimik atleast once a month
10. try to go out-of-town atleast once every 3 months

mas concrete na plans ito... mostly for a "holistic" personal growth (although karamihan dyan, puro pasarap lang sa buhay... hehehe)

While writing my "year-ender report", i felt like i missed alot of things during the past year. So this year, i plan to do a lot of diverse things, pra di naman ako ma-bore at mag-inarte na naman na napaka-empty ng buhay ko.

these past few days, i dont feel that emptiness and numbness i used to feel before. Maybe because im in the company of good friends and i have been doing several "fun" things. Siguro nga, yun ang solusyon sa kabaliwan ko... :)

got to go... uwi pa ko sa apartment today. may pasok na bukas! :P

Year-ender report

hhaaayy....another year has passed. And what have i done with the 365 days 2005 has given me? hhmmmnn.... let me see:

Jan
-Start of the VGS project. I seriously could not remember anything else.

Feb
-My 22nd birthday. Got a treat from my "batchmates"(wink..wink..) hehehe....-It was also on my birthday that i learned of the infamous knock-knock car jokes...

March-April-May
-Exile to tsukiden...
-All the rest was a blur...

June
-mabel and i started looking for a house / apartment.
-start of VSGW project

July
-We moved in to the apartment we found at Honda street.
-Start of the "one week" Cebu exile

August
-I bought barbie's first solo album : Barbie the singles

September
-Barbie was myx celebrity VJ for the month of september.
-The haunting housekeeping incident took place. (brings tears to my eyes... hehehe....)

October
-flew back / "escaped" to manila

November
-the hatchasia bombthreat... hehehe...

December
-for the love of country, family, and friends, i wore a dress to the company christmas party.

hhhmmnn... Sadly, nothing of great value was done during this year, career-wise, that is. What a waste. I wish i could have done more. But as far as my personal life is concerned, id like to think i made a lot of close friends this year, and even managed to stay in touch with the old ones.
Hopefully, this coming year, i'd be able to do more with my life.

To Helena

The first time I saw her, I knew we were meant to be together. She was the most beautiful thing I ever saw and heard. And the moment I held her in my arms, I knew, I just got to have her.

The perfection of her symmetry, the impeccable melody that we shared, I was simply spellbound…

Sa bawat madilim na yugto ng aking buhay, sa bawat ngiti sa aking mga labi, naroon siya, nakikinig, umaawit, nakayakap…

And now, time has been a cruel friend. As of 1:00pm today, December 26, 2005, My dear friend Helena left me. She broke her bridge (that thing holding the string near the guitar’s body). It was beyond repair. I tried my best to put her back together, but not much can be done. The music she produced was broken.

We shared a couple of songs this morning, the first time after a very very long time. And just as we were about to finish our favorite song, the bridge snapped. Had I used her more often, I would have noticed the significant crack near the bridge. I could have prevented the extensive damage…

The least I can do is to make her look good on her last day. After repairing her bridge, I bought her new strings, the high quality ones. I polished her, even her hard-to-clean machine heads. I neatly placed her near my bed, hoisted in my wall. She is as beautiful as the day I first saw her… and I know I shall never love another guitar again, the way I loved her.

Thank you Helena, for being there, for sharing your music, for being a friend up to your very last day. I’m sorry it ended this way. I know you deserve so much more.



Indeed, a thing of beauty...

Of laziness and resolutions

nothing much... been really lazy...i virtually did nothing, aside from breathing, which i did simply out of need...

-----

i was asked kung anu ang aking new year's resolution for 2006...hindi ko pa sya napapag-isipan, pro most likely, the list would include:

1. learning to say NO
it's a quadrant 4 sickness... we're natural-born people-pleasers... But this coming year, i'm putting ME first! (sana :) )

2. saving (as suggested by mabel... hehehe)
i used to say "who needs savings at 22???"...but this coming year, i have to admit, I need savings!

3. living a healthy lifestyle (e.g. right kind of food, exercise, enough sleep... etc...)
hhmmnn... easier said than done right? but this coming 2006, with enough time and motivation, i hope to make things right!

4. learn to play the harmonica
i stopped playing my guitar and piano by the time i was in college (a very personal decision) i try to play once in a while, but the interest is no longer there... too many memories. So this coming year, im thinking of learning a new instrument. I actually wanted a saxophone or flute... but the damn thing is way too expensive (not to mention bulky). So i opted to buy a harmonica (a really cheap one) I hope to skillfully play it before 2006 ends.. :)

5. to wake up!!! most important and yet most difficult... yup! got to wake up and smell reality, daydreamer!!!!

----

ok... back to laziness.....
zzzzzzzzz........

pasko na? na feel mo ba?!

wow! pasko na pla... pro bakit parang di ko na-feel?
nagawa ko naman lahat... bumili ng gifts, nakatanggap ng gifts, kumain ng sangkatutak (although araw-araw naman ata ako ganito kumain...), nagtext ng christmas messages, nagsimba, tumawag sa kung sino-sino... pro wala pa rin... ilang taon nang ganito... wala na yung "rush" na nakukuha ko nung bata pa ko 'pag pasko na... yung tipong ang saya-saya mo 'pag gising mo... haaayyyy.... siguro nga pambata lang tlaga ang pasko...

-------------------------------

nagdinner / overnight ako with my college barkada. tagal din namin di nagkita. at alam mo kung anung napansin nila sa akin? "Nina, anung nangyari sa iyo? bakit ang babaw mo ata today, anung kinain mo? ang corni ng hirit mo ah?!" waaaaaaaaaaahhhh...... 'nak ng tofu (nagulat din sila sa expession na ito)... pati sa mga expression gaya ng "gagah", "dama", "char" at "feeler", naloka sila..... nagtataka sila kung anu ang epekto sa akin ng company ko ngayon... hahahaha..... na-kwento ko tuloy ng di oras ang mga friends ko sa office... at ang mga jokes nila... hehehe.... di sila makapaniwala na may taong capable na mag-deliver ng "honda", "mitsubishi"...etc...jokes... pati tuloy ang duck joke, nakwento ko... hehehehe.... pati yung kalabasa... hahahhaa.... tawa ako ng tawa, habang sila.... completely lost and oblivious.... nagtataka.... (at medyo natatawa sa tawa ko)
gusto nila makilala ang mga friends ko sa work... di siguro makapanilawa... hehehe....
bwaaaahahhaa.... tawang-tawa pa rin ako... :)

babala: mag-ingat sa mga manyak!

p#$^%#!!!!

ngayong araw, 2 istorya na ng pang-ma-manyak ang aking nabalitaan...
(hindi sa akin ah, sa mga friends ko...)

hay, anu na bang nangyayari sa mundo... hindi naman ganito dati...

para sa lahat ng mga manyak:
pag nabalitaan kong naulit pa yun...p^%@#@ manyak ka... ipapalumpo kita!!!... (wag kang tumawa... di ako nagpapatawa...)
kaguhin mo na lahat ng babae sa mundo, wag lang mga kaibigan ko...

yun lang, i rest my case...

p#$^%#!!!!

It's dark and i am lonely

can't help but cry...
baliw na nga ata ako...
it's the brat in me...

----

malamig pla pag wala kang kasama... :(

----

suri roomie... pati ikaw nadamay sa kabaliwan ko... :(
isa lang ibig sabihin nyan... close na tyo... hehehe....feeler! hahaha

----

"'Coz its dark and I am lonely
Only cause I’ve time to be lonely
And living here is bitter as dying "
--barbie's cradle, It's dark and I am lonely

true...

"We are all the walking wounded, your pain is no worse than everyone else’s."

--jessica zafra

numb

numb: (nm)
adj.

1. Deprived of the power to feel or move normally;
2. Emotionally unresponsive; indifferent

i have no idea if im happy or sad... im just floating... which sucks... hindi ko alam kung anung solusyon dito...
siguro kse masyadong de-metro buhay ko... lahat pinaplano, lahat kinakalkula, lahat dapat nakasulat... kaya nakaka-bore kse expected na. im doing the same things over and over again... and im beginning to think im getting sick of it.
i just dont feel any zest for life anymore. Not that i want to commit suicide or anything as stupid. Pro kung oras ko na ngayong gabi, i'll gladly accept.

malala na ba?!


------------

Do not be fooled by the absence of tears,
for deep inside this harlequin is a broken face,
a wounded heart, and trampled soul….
-S. Uta

just when i thought today is a sad day...

salamat sa text... napa-ngiti mo ako... :)

---
galing tlga ni Wise Guy... galing ng timing.... :)
oo na po... tuloy ang laban!

one of my favorite songs...

someone introduced me to this song when i was in highschool....
i loved it ever since. (hindi dahil dun sa tao ah!)
may poetry in between nung kanta. (yung naka-italic)
the poetry is by e.e. cummings
i think this is his best poem..
di nga ako makapaniwala nung una na sya yung gumawa,
pra ksing ang layo nung iba nyang works.
this was sung by lisa angelle.... cno kamo???
di ko rin sya kilala...
basta ang alam ko lang,
this was used dun sa Beauty and the Beast na series dati...


The First Time I Loved Forever

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

The first time I loved forever was when you whispered my name.
And I knew at once you loved me for the me of who I am.
The first time I loved forever I cast all else aside.
And I bid my heart to follow, be there no more need to hide.

And if wishes and dreams are merely for children, and
if love's a tale for fools,
I'll live the dream with you.

or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

For all my life and forever, there's a truth I will always know.
When my world divides and shatters, your love is where I'll go.

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain, has such small hands

Pagod na ko....

How do you fight a battle for someone who thinks the war is over?
Pano mo sasabihin sa isang tao na kaya pa nya, kung ikaw mismo nanghihina na?
How do you save someone from falling kung ang trip nyang gawin ay magpatihulog?
Pano mo pipigilan ang isang taong ayaw magpapigil?

I dont want to care anymore... problem is, i really do...
gaga talaga ako...

----

sorry Wise Guy, i think i failed this one.....
next mission please?....

Patalastas lang...

translated version, kaya parang medyo sablay ang grammar.
Ganito ang mga gusto kong tula. Simple lang, walang kung anu-anung abubot at salita...
pro tumatagos (hindi sa akin ah! )... hehehe....
pra sa mga baliw na sa pag-ibig.... baka sakaling matauhan.... :)

You, Him, and I
by S. Uta
(As Death Finds a Remedy)

I watched you as you glanced at him.
I walked with you as ran after his steps,
I even carried you in my arms when you can no longer go further.

I broke your fall each time you'd throw yourself at him.
But each time, you still insist on standing up and do the same foolish things,
And each time, I was still there, waiting for your fall.

I cried with you when you did for him.
And in silence, I wept for you,
For I know those tears can never be meant for me.

I do not wish to be him,
For I know he is unworthy of you.
But how I envy him, for you feel that he is.

I love you as you love him,
Perhaps even more.
As your heart beats for him, so does mine for you.

And day by day, as the world spins about,
You run after him and I run after you.
An endless cycle that is doomed to end in tragedy.

Perhaps this is how the world turns,
Propelled by fools like us, who cannot see what they have
And selfishly wish for the things they can’t.

Muntik na!

konti na lang sana, nandyan na sya...
Naramdaman ko sya kagabi... pro nilamon ako ng antok at pagod...
Tama ba itong ginagawa ko?
Gusto ko ba tlagang bumalik sya?

bomba!!!

After the Make a Difference Day activity namin, I decided na dumaan muna sa office to fix some of my stuff. Nagkita kami dun ni mabs. At around 3pm, we decided na lumabas pra kumain. Habang nasa hagdan, nakasalubong namin yung bomb-sniffing dog, syempre kasama yung amo nya. Hindi lang namin pinansin. We should have sensed something…..

Nung pabalik na kame sa office, napansin namin na maraming tao. Hhhmmnnn… anu ito? Shooting ba? Shooting? Sinong artista??? (jologs no?! hahaha…)

Anyway, napagalaman namin na meron daw bomba sa loob ng building, at bawal pumasok sa loob. Damn! Yung wallet at cellphone ko nasa loob! Pati yung ke mabs! Ang laman lang ng bulsa ko is roughly less than 400 pesos. (not bad db?) Medyo naghintay pa kami ng konti, ‘till we decided na malamang matagal pa ito. So pumunta kami sa starbucks, inom muna kami ng kape. Ang labo db? Nagkakagulo na nga ang mga tao, nag-kape pa kame?! Hehehe… Tsaka what if sumabog nga yung building, lahat ng pera ko at valueables ko, pati yung mga gamit at money ni mabs, di na namin makukuha… so basically ang meron lang kme ay yung pera ko sa bulsa at lahat ng contents ng coin purse ni mabs. At ano ang ginawa namin….bumili ng over-priced coffee… ang gagah db? Hehehe…. Wala lang. Feeling kse namin, malamang estudyante lang yung tumawag at nagsabi na may bomba sa building. May exam cguro or something… hay naku… tao nga naman.

Tinawanan pa ko ni mabs nnung sinabi kong buti na lang dala ko sa bulsa ko yung ID ko. Sabi nya “Aanhin natin yan?”…. So after nearly two hours, nag-papapasok na sila ng tao. And guess what…. Nasagot na ang tanong ni Mabs… NO ID, NO ENTRY. Hehehe…. Pumasok na lang ako sa loob pra kunin yung ID ni mabs sa drawer nya…. Hehehe…

(Na hindi naman pla kelangan, basta kilala mo si mang dennis… hehehehe..)

Exciting ng sabado namin no? hehehe….

Mga pics sa aking telepono...

nag-bro-browse ako ng files na nakalagay sa camera fone ko.... then nakita ko itong mga 'to... wala lang... hehehe....















bola-bola ni potpot....


















Duckie, on laundry day :) ....


















yanyan bread stick for jas... wehehehe...


















grumpy bear....


wala lang... hehehe....

Duckie... ang pagbabalik....

Nakuha ko na c duckie sa labahan..... :)


Parang balot:
















tada.......
squeeky-clean duckie....
















hehehe... wala lang....
na-miss ko lang sya...

why?!

warum?
¿por qué?
pourquoi?
perchè?
なぜか.


waaaaaahhhhh!!!!!
why????

bakit ba di tyo pinagtatagpo???

hay naku... minsan ko na nga lang aabutan c barbie na mag-perform sa mga place malapit sa amin.... di pa natuloy!!! hmpf!!!!


NOVEMBER 2005
08 - 'Warner Bar Tour' Dish 9PM
08 - Padi's Point Alabang 11PM
09 - La Salle Taft, 89.9 event 12 noon
11 - SM Makati - Cancelled
11 - New Millenium Evangelical 7PM (private affair)
11 - Hard Rock 9PM
12 - San Jose Occidental Mindoro
13 - Market Market - Cancelled
15 - 'Warner Bar Tour' Saguijo Bar 9PM
15 - Padi's Point Las Piñas - Cancelled
16 - Padi's Point EDSA Central 11PM

A Research on Ice Cream

Ice Cream Makes You Happy? Get Outta Here

Morning Edition, May 4, 2005 · Stop the presses: Ice cream makes you happy. Researchers in England say the chilly treat "lights up" the brain's pleasure zones. The study was funded by Unilever, which makes ice cream. Subjects ate 15 teaspoons of ice cream, while MRI technology watched their brains. Turns out, the orbitofrontal cortex -- the "processing" area of the brain -- responded immediately. And that's just from eating vanilla!

src: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4630326

--------------------------

personally...
i dont believe this crap! No amount of sugar, dairy, or any other sinful pleasure, for that matter, can ever lift a dreary spirit up from unfathomable despair... but true friends can.... char! hehehe....

thanks so much guys....i mean it... :)

failure

type "failure" in googles search textfield.
and the first search result is:


Biography of President George W. BushBiography of the 43rd President of the United States.
www.whitehouse.gov/president/gwbbio.html - 25k - Cached - Similar pages
News - Contact - President - Homeland Security
More results from www.whitehouse.gov »


hehehe... wala lang... naaliw lang... hehehe
makahanap pa nga... hehehe...

kung ikaw ako.... anung gagawin mo???

(17:53:38) nene: nina, gusto mo mag-cebu? hehehe
(17:53:52) ninadl: hehehe....
(17:53:56) ninadl: joke po yan?
(17:53:57) ninadl: :-D
(17:54:00) ninadl: hehehe
(17:54:01) nene: question :p
(17:54:04) ninadl: hehehe
(17:54:12) ninadl: serious question?
(17:54:13) ninadl: hehehe
(17:54:14) nene: yep
(17:54:23) ninadl: ilang araw po?
(17:54:27) ninadl: :)
(17:54:33) nene: like months? :p
(17:54:35) nene: hehehe
(17:54:38) ninadl: waaaaa?
(17:54:40) ninadl: hehehe
(17:54:49) ninadl: 2 months?
(17:54:54) nene: 6 months?
(17:54:57) nene: di pa ako sure.
(17:54:58) ninadl: waaaa....
(17:55:02) ninadl: hehehe
(17:55:10) ninadl: for this project po?
(17:55:11) nene: kasi pag pinakuha ako ng tao, gusto ko sana kilala ko na :)
(17:55:13) nene: nde
(17:55:15) nene: pwlan?
(17:55:27) nene: if long term bt ka sa cebu,
(17:55:42) nene: will try to arrange na maka uwi ka naman free of charge :)
(17:55:54) ninadl: hehehe....
(17:55:58) nene: hss ka ngayon di ba?
(17:56:01) ninadl: yup
(17:56:09) ninadl: ask ko po muna c ate may... :)
(17:56:14) nene: cge
(17:56:16) nene: tnx :)

ang ganda ng palusot no? hehehe... parang batang magtatanong sa nanay kung pwedeng sumama sa fieldtrip... hehehe...

so.... anung gagawin ko? sabi naman sa akin, not sure pa naman daw, just in case lang... but 6 months??? waaaa..... di ko yata kaya yun... :(

on the brighter side, i feel honored that nene wants me to be part of her team... haba ng hair ko db? hehehe... (but then again, i'm thinking, maybe she just wants someone from VSGW... pra pag may bug, madali mahatak... :) )

Manila vs. Okane.... hehehehe......

teka... 6 months, so thats approximately 180 days, so since Cebu-time thats, x 11.8days, so total is 2,124days?????? waaaaa....... (5.8 years?!!!!) :O

bagong wig

hulaan nyo daw kung sino 'tong CUTE na to... :)

Defying nature

Yesterday I’ve decided that enough is enough. Ayoko na. Ayoko ko nang maging kulot. Hehehe…

Pina-rebond ko na ang aking wavy and hard-to-deal-with hair. I patiently waited for 4 hours bago matapos yung rebonding process. I almost fell asleep sa tagal. I’ve never stayed that long inside a salon before, ni sa panaginip, di ko naisip na tatagal ako ng ganun.

Ang dami plang hassles ng pagpapa-rebond… now I have to “maintain” my hair… What?!!! E mag-suklay nga nakakalimutan ko e, “magpakakikay” pa ng hair?!!! Parang trap! Hehehe…

Tanung nga ni gloi kung anung nakain ko at nagpaayos ako ng hair…

Hhhmmnnn…..

Actually, matagal ko na syang napag-isipang gawin, lagi lang akong either tinatamad or busy. Symbolic din cguro na ginawa ko ito nung nag-decide na ako mag-move sa next "phase" ng aking experimento… I’ve proven my point. And it worked! And now it’s time to go back to my old self. The more carefree and kickass version… the highschool-me! Handa ka na ba world?(hahahaa….) Because the real me will be back pretty soon… and this time, I won’t be afraid… this time, I will muster enough guts to be true… this time, I will never lose a friend…. this time, no one will cry.

tech-support til 10pm :)

yan ang current job ko ngayon.... aside from bug fixes and modification requests... suma-sideline pa kong contact-person ng tester namin sa japan.... saya di ba???
oki lang naman sa akin, since malapit lang naman ang apartment, at usually, kapag gabi umuuwi, hinahatid kami ni mang erns hanggang apartment :)
grabeng ka-busy-han ito (mabs grammar... :) )
miss ko na makipag-chikahan over the jabber... ngayon, pagnakikita ko nag-bli-blink yung jabber client ko, hindi na ko excited.... iniisip ko... hay naku, bug na naman.... hehehe.... di tulad dati.... natutuwa ako, kse chika-minute uli.... (hahaha.... tsismosang bata!)
oki lang sa akin ang ganito... pro wag naman tipong all-year-round... hehehe.... once in a while, it's nice to know that im needed... yung tipong ikaw yung tinatanong kung alam mong paganahin yung isang bagay....
it's almost 9pm here.... malapit nang matapos ang stress test ko ng project namin... at so far, wala pa namang problems from japan.... 1 hour to go... :) hopefully pare-pareho kaming makauwi ng maayos... :)

naiyak ako, promise.....

Tonight I Can Write
by Pablo Neruda
(20 love poems and a Song of Despair)

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write for example, 'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to a pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

duggie... duggie....

ang bago naming duggie.... c peter... ang pandak na aso... :)

19 kilos?!!!

grabeng excess baggage ito... di ko inakala....
thank God for porters... :)

Happy birthday Che!!! :)

your cake bago sya nadisgrasya.... hehehe... :)

salvation from exile

behold..... the salvation from exile.....


there's a recurring song in my head.... "we're on our way home... we're on our way home.... we're going home..."
(yun lang ang alam kong lyrics dun sa kanta... pro paulit-ulit sya sa utak ko....hehehe....)

Jitse...the aftermath

hay! sa wakas! natapos din ang kalbaryo...
promise, after submitting my exam paper, i felt sooooo free....
no more going home (sa hotel) late at night, feeling guilty kse ndi na naman ako nakapag-aral... (wala kasi tlagang time... promise!!!)
at least ngayon, pwede na kong umuwi without the burden of "stretching" my time. Uwi lang tlaga para matulog!!! wow! ang sarap ng feeling... as in!

pro syempre, somewhere in the dark corners of my head, may worry pa din kung anu ang results ng exam. nasagutan ko naman lahat, pro jitse is one hell of a tricky exam. feeling mo tama, pro depende kase kung pano mo naintindihan yung problem... haaay.... life.
kung di ako pumasa dito, ayoko na tlaga mag-take uli... kakapagod e. the anticipation is just too much... madami na kong pressure from work, ayaw ko na muna dagdagan...
cguro kung di ako papasa, i might think of shifting careers... baka ndi ako meant maging programmer... i dunno, baka sinasabi ko lang ito ngayon... bukas, iba cguro ang iisipin ko... halata bang sabog pa ko....
oh, well, bahala na.... may deadline pa ko today.... :) got to go!

7 days to go!!!

7 days to go and im gonna go home!!!... finally, after "one week"
(Cebu time-spacewarp calculation = Manila day * 11.8 days) hehehee...

im happy it's gonna be over soon.... hindi naman sa badtrip ako at nag-bt kami ng nearly 3 months sa Cebu... actually, im thankful dahil marami akong natutunan, ibang klase tlagang experience ito. Hindi lahat ng tao binibigyan ng ganito pagkakataon. Pro syempre, miss ko na rin tlaga ang family at friends ko.... aaawww... :)

excited na ko... :) hehehe....


simply no place like Manila.... Manila, I'm coming home...

isa sa mga paborito.....

Sonnet 17 : Love
by Pablo Neruda
(Cien Sonetus de Amor, 1960)

(translated by Stephen Topscott)

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms but
carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or
from where. I love you straightforwardly,
without complexities or pride; so I love you
because I know no other way

than this: Where “I” does not exist, nor “You”,
so close that your hand on my chest is my
hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall
asleep.

I'm Pissed!

There are 4 things in life I value the most.

1) God
2) Family
3) Friends
4) Work

They give me purpose, they give me a reason to grow, they shape the person that I am and the person that I want to become. So when someone, especially a friend, screws me over, I get really pissed!

Sa tinagaltagal ko nang nabubuhay, ngayon lang may nang-gago sa akin ng ganito. (At marami akong kilalang gago....) Siguro sasabihin ng iba, ang babaw, pro for a person who values friendship and work ethics as I do, hindi sya basta-basta biro lang…. Pambabastos na sya!

Ganito kse yung kwento:

May ni-report na NCOS bug sa module ko, so syempre, finix ko ng maaga. I need to go home early kse. So around 6:30, nagpaalam na ko sa AM namin. Sabi nya, oki lang daw. Included na yung fix ko sa NCOS release, testing na lang ang kulang. So fine, umuwi na ko. Nakapagpahinga din after a long while at makakapanood ng Myx live with Barbie… Mga around 8:50pm, nag-text ang isang officemate/”friend”. Sabi nya pinapapunta daw ako ng AM namin sa office. So syempre, ako naman, nagpanic… inisip ko baka nag-cause ng bugs yung fix ko… at NCOS release yun, kaya nakakahiya tlaga kung merong bugs. Since nakapambahay na ko, kumuha na ako ng damit pang-alis, tina-try kong tawagan yung officemate/”friend” ko, pro kina-cancel nya. Then nag-text sya… “Joke”…. AAAAHHHH!!!! PUTANG INA!!!!!!!!! (di sana ako magmumura, pro sabi ni isang TUNAY na friend, kelangan ko daw ilabas!) na-bad trip tlaga ako! Sooooo pissed!!!!! Yung parang gusto kong manapak!!!! AS IN!!!!!

Siguro nga pra sa iba, nakakatawa… at mababaw lang… NOT FOR ME!!!! I’ve been a good friend….. Hindi pa hinihingi sa akin, binibigay ko na… handa akong pumatay, all for a friend… ganyan ako… kaya inis na inis ako…Of all the people na pwedeng gumawa sa akin nun, kaibigan ko pa . I TRUSTED him because he was my “friend”, or I atleast thought he was. What the hell was he thinking, toying with my emotions like that???!!! What an ASSHOLE!!!!!!!! ANG KAPAL NG MUKHA!!!!!

And for him, wala lang yun. It was a joke… he never said sorry… (although, even if he did, I wont accept it!)

What if isang araw, nag-text ako sa kanya at sinabi ko na “Uy! Yung anak mo daw, nahulog sa hagdan!”…. sabay text na “Joke lang! Hihihi..” No one in his right mind would do that di ba?! Fine, cge, “work-related” naman yung hirit nya… pro ndi ba sya NAG-ISIP na baka IMPORTANTE pra sa akin yung work?!!! WHAT A FRIEND??!!!!

Para sa akin, friendship, or any relationship for that matter, is like glass… maganda, pro fragile. Pag binasag mo, u can glue it back together…. But it’s just not the same…. May lamat na…

Perhaps in time I can forgive, but NEVER will I forget… ganyan ako… deal with it. I can be the warmest person in the world when it comes to my friends… but I can be a bitch when it comes to people I don’t like. (Although technically, I’ve never been a bitch to anyone…. At least, not that I know of…and up until now… )

Don’t get me wrong, hindi sa tinatapon ko ang lahat ng pinagsamahan namin out of the window…. Ayoko lang masaktan uli… precautionary measure, ika nga. Like a friend once told me, kung alam mong kakainin ka ng wolf, bakit mo pa sya kakaibiganin…. Di ko sya naintindihan nun, pro ngayon, naiintindihan ko na.

Ang mga taong tulad nya ang napapaalala sa akin na wag kang basta-basta magtitiwala… the world is indeed a fucked up place…. Di ka dapat mabait, otherwise, you wont survive.

Gusto ko tlagang ibalik sa dati ang lahat, pro I’d be lying to myself… ito tlaga ang nararamdaman ko…nagpapakatotoo lang ako… masama ba yun???

From now on, he’s just someone I know. Just like any other officemate…. He will never again feel the warmth of my friendship… it’s beyond my control… it’s what I really feel…

he had it coming, I guess….

Ever wonder why there are bad people in the world? I mean, when one thinks about it, we were all created to be intrinsically good. So what happened from the moment we were born up to the time Satan has claimed our hapless souls?
...

Imagine a little girl in anticipation of Christmas… Hoping and praying that Santa Claus will be giving her the gift she always wanted. She’s been a good girl all-year-long, so she can’t think of any reason why Santa won’t give her what she longs for. So Christmas morning she goes down the stairs, then BAM! She looks under the Christmas tree and see NOTHING! The loss of innocence… The realization that the world is fucked-up place and no one can possibly care a damn about her… Santa does not exist… Probably because some other bitter kid has killed him already…
She wakes up the following morning, armed with the knowledge that dreams don’t come true, that fairies don’t exist, and that kindness is nothing more than a mere word used in movies. No, she is not the same person she was yesterday… Without effort and remorse, she has changed…


------------

Do not be fooled by the absence of tears,
for deep inside this harlequin is a broken face,
a wounded heart, and trampled soul….
-Anonymous

Happy 8th Birthday!!! :)

Happy 8th birthday Jas!!!
(note : biological age=23; mental-state age=8 :) )

wow.... ang tanda mo na...peace!
grabe, ang dami plang nagmamahal syo??? kala ko kame-kame lang ang nag-tsa-tsaga! hahah.... joke lang.... :)

di na ko mag-lalagay ng something mushy dito... nakakahiya, baka mabasa ng kung sino.... baka masira image ko... :) basahin mo na lang sulat ko na nakalagay sa scrapbook.... :) speaking of, sana magustuhan mo sya.... pinaghirapan namin yan.... all for u :) [tama na, nag-sta-start nang maging mushy....]

c gloi na lang kausapin mo..... :)

"one week" victim uli?!!!

for the 2nd time... na-biktima muli ako ng "one week"

the first time, sabi nila, one week lang daw kami sa Cebu... Ang pangakong one week... lagpas 2 buwan na (61 days, to be exact...)

at ngayon naman... umuwi na c jas... sabi nila, one week lang, magkikita-kita kami uli.... ang pangakong one week.... naging halos isang buwan...

ang ng tokwa! (or anak ng tofu... kung gusto mong maging sosy...) biktima na naman ako!!!

oh, well, di naman ganun kasama ang loob ko... Cebu has it's perks.....
hirap nga lang kse halos lahat ng friends ko nasa Manila... :(

Day 51: Cebu Exile

Day 51, tuesday...

A bottle a day keeps insanity away......
Been drinking C2 since nagkaroon sa e-diner dito sa Cebu office...
wala lang, trip... feeling ko kse pag napansin nilang ang daming bote dito sa desk ko, ma-re-realize na nila na ang tagal na namin dito... hehehe.... :)

SOOOOO CLOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Matagal ko na dapat itong na-post… hindi ko lang tlga ma-put into words ang naramdaman ko nung time na yun…

September 4, 2005 : Concert ni Kitchie sa SM Cebu. Maaga kami dumating sa venue. Pagdating namin sa venue, nakita namin na may ibang event… Close up something..something… we didn’t care, I mean, who would, right? So umalis kami sandali pra kumain ng early dinner, pra hindi kame gutumin sa concert ni kitchie. After eating, bumalik kame sa venue. Tapos na yung Closeup event, tinatanggal na ang mga upuan, balloons, banners, etc. Naghintay kami sa labas, kala namin pine-prepare na yung place for the Kitchie concert, hanggang naisipan ng isa kong kasama na tignan yung posters na naka-post near the venue. Nakita namin yung poster nung Closeup event…. And guess what?!!!! Special guest ang BARBIE’s cradle…. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing…. Nanlamig ako, nanghina…… DAMN!!!! I was thinking to myself….”No, hindi totoo ‘to….. dissolved na ang band, baka naman lumang poster ito… hindi… hindi … wala c Barbie dito… hindi ko na-miss ang opportunity na makita sya… wala sya dito… wala….noooo..” While in denial, nakita namin ang isang staff ng SM. Tinanong namin kung anu na ang nangyari sa concert ni Kitchie. Sabi nya, postponed daw. Bad trip db?! Pero ito ang pinaka-MASAKIT!!! I asked her kung tlagang pumunta ang Barbie’s cradle to perform sa Closeup event… she said. “yes, they were here, they actually sang 4 songs. Late na nga cla dumating e.” ANAK NG TUPAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! At this point…. Nagdilim na ang paningin ko…. My knees were beginning to fail me…. I could feel the tears about to fall…. I was literally SOOOO CLOSE to seeing her… and I BLEW it!!!! DAMN!!!! Nakakainis….. ang tanga ko tlaga…. Bakit hindi ko kagad na-connect ang Closeup event ke Barbie?!….. GAGA!!! Ewan ko ba kung bakit, pro I was sooo down, ang jologs no?! Ganito nga cguro ang “fanatic”…. like “lunatic”… BALIW!!!!

habang pauwi...bilang pampalubag-loob….. bumili ako ng mocha frap….pro sumakit lang lalamunan ko, depressed pa rin ako…. Sad…. So sad…. Hanggang ngayon, I really feel down…. It would have been nice kung nakita ko sya… :(


--------------
And ive tried different kinds of ice cream
And some made my throat sore
But you were only bliss
So ill visit you in dreams
[Dear Paul, Barbie's Cradle]

“Housekeeping…………”

As of 3:00pm this day, the word “Housekeeping……” has a totally different meaning (“different” by the way, is an understatement!)

Bakit kamo?!

(enter dramatic flashback music, with matching blurred images……)

Before anything else, just a backgrounder…

This is somehow a rule for us… “One shall always be DECENTLY clothed in the presence of the other”. Ang common line sa conversation namin habang nasa sulok ng room si Duckie at ako naman sa “hidden side ay : “Duckie, Are you decent?”

Anyway, balik sa kwento….

Habang nakaupo sa kama ko, busy transferring files, my roommate (na itatago natin sa pangalang Duckie…*wink..*wink) was changing her clothes. Biglang may kumatok….ang sabi “Housekeeping….”. Nagpanic c Duckie, (at medyo inaantok at sabog dahil kakagising lang…) Nasa isip ni Duckie “Hindi ko pwedeng buksan ang pinto pra sabihing mamya na lang sila maglinis, naka-bra at shorts lang ako… aha, c nina!, sya ang dapat magsabi….” And this is where the scary part is…… “Nina, housekeeping, ikaw na ang magbukas ng pinto….” For a good 5 seconds, she was in front of me, wearing what could be classified as a “beach outfit” (if you’re planning to get a good tan, that is….)… Sa part pa lang na sinasabi nya yung name ko, nag-freakout na ko… and somehow, she has no idea why… Yun talaga yung nakakatawang part…. Clueless sya…. HAHAHA…..

After the five-second torture I experienced, nakahalata din ang loka… she carried her clothes in her arms and ran towards her bed. (parang “raid scene” sa isang beerhouse...) Ako naman, pumunta sa may pinto pra kausapin ang housekeeping and to reassure them that the screaming they heard was not part of any slaying… Although all things considered, it might as well be….. Pagpasok ko uli sa kwarto, nakabihis na sya…. Thank God!!!

Hanggang ngayon, natatawa pa din ako pagnaaalala ko… HAHAHA…..

PEACE!!! DUCKIE!!!

Myx Celebrity VJ.... :)

yey!!!

guess what?!! Myx Celebrity VJ c Barbie for the whole september!!! :)

yey!!!! :)

yun lang....

----------

10 days before STEP 1.2 release....
huhuhuh...
OT galore na naman!!!

Day 37: Cebu Exile

Day 37, tuesday....

STILL in Cebu.... extended na naman kame... from July 31, na naging August 31, ngayon naman, September 24.... (that's earliest possible)

waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! uwing-uwi na ko...

i never thought i'd say this, pero gusto kong kumain ng gulay!!! yung totoong gulay, di tulad dito na nilubog muna sa mantika bago i-serve... huhuhuhu.... in cebu, pigs grow on trees... they're everywhere... in every possible form... mostly ihaw... cholesterol and cancer combo meal!

------

got a jabber message from melissa, balik-nsp na sya today.

WELCOME BACK ME-ME!!! :P

too bad we are not there in manila to welcome her... :(

------

OT galore na naman 'to... release na bukas...
we have to be on standby for "coming" IT bugs...

-----

my head hurts.... grabe... parang binibiyak!!! grrr... di ko pa dala yung biogesic namin... of all days....

Snoopies........snoppies..... snoopies......

Nyahahahahhaa....
I've collected all 8!!!

salamat ke jas na nag-tsagang kumain sa McDo
ng ilang araw kasama ko.... hehehe.....

What would prompt anyone with a right mind to collect such things???
Aside from the fact that i've been in exile for about 36 days here in Cebu, and have virtually eaten no form of vegetation whatsoever.... wala lang.... GUSTO KO E.... nyaaah!!!

kakasira ng image.... nahahawa na ko ke jas... im starting to make weird sounds... it's scary....

Day 14 : Cebu Exile

Day 14, saturday....

jas is feeling better...
wala na sya lagnat, so nag-OT din sya today.
nag-lunch kame sa e-diner with denden, frank, and carlo.
wala pa cna sally at arlene..... napuyat cguro kahapon...tsk....tsk...

bawal kame mag-OT pag sunday, so bukas, baka punta na lang kame mall....
o kaya tulog buong araw.... :) at syempre... KAIN....

birthday ng pla ni matt today! :) Happy birthday mateo!!!

ok, back to work....

Day 13 : Cebu Exile

Pagkatapos ng ilang araw na eat-all-you-can at unlimited rice…. ang dinner ko lang ngayon ay chicken sandwich ng hotel… :(

It’s 11:25pm…. OT uli (anu bang bago?!) At GUTOM na ko… huhuhuhu…

Need to eat…. Need to sleep….

May sakit si jas. Di sya pumasok today. Tsk..tsk… kawawang bata….

Bangag na ang mga tao dito sa office…

Uwi na kme hotel…. Sa wakas….

BAKET?!!!

word for the day: BAKET???!!!! :(

sabi nila, lahat daw may dahilan.... pero pano kung hindi mo maintindihan yung dahilan?


"BAKET???!!! "

barbie the singles

wooooooohooooooooo!!!!!!
nakabili na ko ng first solo album ni Barbie Almalbis entitled "barbie - the singles".
sooooooooooobrang tuwang-tuwa ako!!!! as in!!!!
I was actually looking for the first album ng Barbie's Cradle. Nagulat na lang ako nung nakita kong na-release na pla yung solo album nya..... hindi kase ako nakakabasa ng email lately from the yahoogroup... (oo, diehard fan ako!!!! may reklamo?! hehehe.... )
at ito pa ang matindi.... meron syang kasamang VCD!!!! woooohooooooooo!!!!!!
sobrang saya ko tlaga! nawala yung antok ko at nagtata-talon ako sa SM(Cebu)
Sana lang makapunta ako sa official album launching pra ma-pa-sign ko lahat ng CD's ko....
Woooooooooohoooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!