Now that's odd!

The other day, I made a call to our MIS team to activate one of the network ports we'll be using for one of our test machines. I gave my name, which I pronounced as "nina" (no enye).

I have been using "nina", instead of "ninya", in the office because explaining spelling, pronunciation, and Philippine-Spanish history is just a pain in the ass most of the time.

Anyway, going back to my story...

A few minutes later, a tall Indian guy came by my cubicle to check if the port was working. I gave him access to our test machine and he did his routine check.

In the middle of his work, he engages in some small talk.

MIS guy: "you have quite an ODD name"(referring to "nina")
The bitch inside my head: WTF??? Odd??? Seriously now?!

I wasn't so sure how to react to that. Especially when I found out that his name was about 4 mouthful syllables consisting of a several consonants without vowels in between them. (ok, this might have been an exaggeration, but hell, his name is really "complicated"!)

But seriously, how odd is n-i-n-a? Even someone with dyslexia can spell it without difficulty!

I've never heard anyone complain about "Mr. Snuffleupagus", (and it's about time someone did!) and here comes some guy telling me a 4-letter word with letters harmoniously sitting next to each other is odd?!

Where's the justice in this world?! Where's the love?! And more importantly, where is Mr. Snuffleupagus?!

who you callin' odd 'ya bitch!

i like women...

... singers, that is.

I didn't even realize this until I was reviewing my playlist in this blog a while ago. None of the singers in my playlist are male!?!

Just to clarify, I'm not sexist! This was not done on purpose. It's not my fault women are better singers than men! (oopss... sexist slip there, sorry... hehehe...)

And in the spirit of coming clean, I confess: I love techno (ok, you may start casting your stones now). But just the slow type where the singer is like somewhat broken-hearted and stoned... don't judge me, it's very nice to listen to!

There! now it's out of my chest, I can sleep better now.

Cultural diversity is killing my humor-mojo

Not to toot my own horn, but I've been called "funny" quite a number of times (but maybe not as much as "crazy") by a number of people.

I just can't stand serious conversations. There will always be a voice or image in my head taunting me to say something self-deprecating or at least make me burst out in mad laughter with no apparent reason. (Much to the horror of anyone near me)

But living on this island has kept me from being my usual unhinged self.

If there is one thing I find difficult about living in a different country with so many different kinds of people, it is definitely not the weird food, nor the homesickness, nor the language, nor the weather. It's this constant need to explain the point of my joke! Jeez! Now I know what it feels like to be in Jas' big shoes (peace!)

Seriously... I have great punchline delivery (with matching props and other audio-visual effects!?!) and awesome comedic timing, and not to mention proper diction and grammar(well, maybe not that "proper", but definitely better than most of them here)... But alas! Everyone seems to be left with this gigantic question mark on their forehead each time I say something “funny” (or “offensive” depending on who you ask… :) )

Oh well, it could be worse. At least there isn't a full repertoire of duck jokes made in my honor! (peace uli! :) )

I'll be leaving you with this image, because apparently, ducks are f&^*-ing funnier than me!!! What's happening to the world?!?!

image stolen from courtesy of duckjokes.blogspot.com

couch potatoes...

literally...

my obnoxious potato friends hanging-out on our couch on movie night...

There was a big fight on whether we should watch spiderman or starwars. And given that these are my friends, of course, they were very violent about it. I literally have to keep them from mashing each other. Not that I care, I just don't want to be the one to clean the mess afterwards!

After much debate, we ended up watching Transformers. Too bad my other potato friend, Optimash Prime, couldn't join us. He would have enjoyed that. But then again, it would have annoyed us since he likes making those stupid sounds when he "transforms" (we all seem to have this one retarded friend that does that, don't we?). And by transform, I mean removing his eyes, nose, and ears, then "rolls-out"... creepy bastard!

In case you're wondering, we had pop corn. I decided eating potato chips just felt wrong... (see, I can be sensitive too, you know! So I ate the chips when they left! :) )

I assume none of you have been living under a rock these past few years, so I'll spare everyone from describing what they're wearing. But if by any chance you really have been living under a rock, do write in, I'd love to know if you need a new housemate (rockmate?), as I need to hide away from these potatoes for a while... They're beginning to get on my nerves, that, and the fact that they have bad gas.

-------------------------

10 minutes after writing the above blog entry:

OMG... I seriously need a new hobby...

listen at your own risk...

Instead of making-up for lost sleep, here I am doing some "experiments" with adding a playlist in blogger...

So far I've managed to put the damn player here, but I have yet to resize it. What really ate a lot of time was looking for the songs I'd like to include. Unfortunately, not all of the songs I like are available, I've only managed to add 10. Hopefully, I'll be able to add some more later.

I know this should probably count as "piracy"... but in my defense, I have original copies of these songs... (yes, I can be such a self-righteous, i-dont-do-illegal-stuff-even-though-everybody-else-does-it asshole sometimes. Oh, how I hate those kind of people!!!... but as usual, I still love myself)

anyway, welcome to my (partial)playlist...

I don't want to take a bath anymore

No, I have no intentions of being a full-pledged "taong grasa" and neither is this an attempt to "blend well" with the "crowd". I just don't want to take a shower anymore after my workout in the gym.

It's not because of un-towelled(if this is even a word?!) women. It's because of Rick Astley. No, he did not magically appear in the locker room of the gym (now that's just way too creepy...)

The reason is his annoying 80's hit "together forever" that's haunting the gym halls at almost exactly the same time as my routine shower time. And shower time is the only time I don't have my earphones on! Is that bad timing or what?!?! And this tragedy happens almost daily at almost the same time!!!

I actually tried hitting the showers late, so I don't have to suffer ricky-boy's wrath. But then, yet another annoying song is booming out of the speakers... "I should be so lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky... I should be so lucky in love..."

(yes, I intentionally put a snippet of the lyrics, hoping that anyone reading this will be subconsciously singing it and be equally annoyed. Misery loves company)

And because I am pure evil:


too bad there isn't a roderick paulate version on youtube... that would have been diabolical! :)

Wala kang katulad, Manny...

I'm not exactly a Manny Pacquiao fan. Hell, I'm not even sure how to spell his name correctly?! And let's just not discuss his attempt at public office, that's just hitting below the belt (pun intended)

I mean, he's just like any other athlete, so I don't get all the hoopla he's getting from knocking people out... that's his job!

I am equally puzzled at how mesmerized a great majority of us are with his fights.
According to news reports, no crime is committed in the entire country while he's boxing!?! Wow, if that's the case, maybe he should fight every second of his life! Then maybe, I just might be a really good fan! :)

But then, something totally changed my mind. While watching ESPN, I was in awe...

It was a Nike commercial with Maria Sharapova, Roger Federer, Kobe Bryant, and 2 other dudes who shall remain nameless to me, since I don't give a rat's ass who they are... and what-the... is that Manny??? What-the... it's him!!!

I don't know about you, but anyone who shares a TV spot with Maria Sharapova, has my absolute admiration... (Yes, I AM THIS SHALLOW, and if you are looking for substance in this post, you are in for a great disappointment. :) )

C'mon, it's Maria freakin' Sharapova, people... As one reporter so accurately puts it "She's as hot as Anna Kournikova, only she can actually play tennis!"

Here's the Nike commercial:


Oh, what was I talking about...yeah, Manny...
So to you Manny-boy, keep on punching people... (and while you're at it, consider changing your surname to something a little easier to spell... :) )

When penguins fly...

BBC's promo cum April fool's joke:



Personally, it would have been great if they used pigs instead of penguins. (no offense meant to penguin enthusiasts)

I'd just like to see the people who said "I'd [insert action here], when pigs fly!", keep their end of the bargain... :)

But I think BBC thought it would be a little too far-fetched to actually fool people. Pigs, afterall, don't have wings. But then again, we'll never now. As my friend once told me... "Never underestimate the power of human stupidity..."

So fly Happy Feet, fly!!!

Viva Italia! (that is, if you're an adulterous woman)

I just read a very interesting online news article from BBC UK.

If you're too lazy to click the link to read the full story, here's the short-and-sweet:
Italy's highest court has ruled that it is not illegal for a woman to lie to a police investigation if the reason is to cover-up her adulterous affair.

Huwaaaaat??? Yes, my jaw dropped as well. I thought it was an April fool's joke, but apparently, it wasn't.

Side note: BBC's April fools joke is a footage of flying penguins... Somehow, they thought it's easier to fool people with flying fat-so birds... but that's for another post. :)

Now, going back to adulterous bitches...

I'm not so sure how to react to this news. It's like saying it's ok to lie as long as you're covering up another lie... A really bad case of negation, perhaps?

According to the article, "lying about an affair was permitted because it damages the honor of the person among family and friends."

But here's the kicker:
"It is not yet clear whether the ruling might also apply to men who have secret mistresses. "

Sorry guys... double-standards worked against you on this one. But don't fret, at least you don't have to bleed on a monthly basis... (this is what I tell my brothers every time my parents favor me over everything... :) )

hhmmnn... I wonder if it's also ok to lie to your boss, if it's gonna save your ass ? If yes, then I'm soooo moving to Italy... (for that and the spaghetti!)