out of the closet...and into the runway...

I have a confession to make, and it's not easy for me to say this, but I'll say it anyway.

I'm a closet ANTM fan...
(America's Next Top Model)

Ok, I'll give you a few minutes to collect your jaw from the floor...
I know... I know, "How could I?!" It is soooo out-of-character.

I don't know, but there's something about stick-figured women bitchin' about each other that makes me so effin' entertained. It's my guilty pleasure...

And why this sudden confession? I just can't help it. I need to flush out all the excitement out of my system and I have no one to talk to... Why the excitement, you ask? Because a few days back, cycle 11 has just started!!!! Whoooo hooo...

Let the carnage begin baby, let the carnage begin...

This cycle is probably the most diverse one ever. ANTM has been known to accept women from different ethnic backgrounds and economic classes. They've had white/black/brown and every skin color in between, mothers, a Yale student, some full-figured women, a girl with some form of Autism, an exotic dancer, a hooters girl, a girl who waxes people's hoo-ha's... name it, they've had it... (ok, they've never had doctors or lawyers... but those professions are just too boring to get included...)

But what makes this cycle so groundbreaking is that it is the first time that they have included a transgendered contestant into the competition. Her name is Isis, and I must say, she is one hot dude...

But given that this is a reality show featuring women, bitchiness ensues once some of the girls found out that one of them is not biologically the "same".

I hope and pray that those mean bitchy girls lose... (yes, I waste precious prayer-time for these things... that and world peace) And as we've seen in past ANTM cycles, the bitchy ones stay for quite some time to keep us entertained, but in the end they never really win...Yes, Karma, it's real, and I have ANTM to prove it!

This cycle, I'm rooting for Sheena, the half-Japanese, half-Korean (I wonder how her parents got along?) hottie from New York, not just because she's Asian, but because she's actually very nice and sweet and has a good head on her shoulders. And so far, she's showing that she can be a great model. Plus it doesn't hurt that she's smouldering hot...

My other bet is Elina. She's vegan, an animal right's activist, has tattooes, doesn't wear skirts or anything that is gender-specific, and only wears black...

If your gaydars alarmed a flashing red light with that statement, then congratulations! You're right. She is this cycle's token "bisexual". The quotes are there because she really didn't say it directly when Tyra asked her. But her long "I am not into labels" type of answer essentially meant that she's good to go with any gender.

Why am I rooting for her? Dude, she got me at vegan and animal's right activist. She also has this Angelina Jolie-thing going on, especially on her latest photoshoot. She's a little too intense though, almost kinda scary...

I can't wait for next week to come... It's the make-over episode! We all know what that means... ginormous amounts of hair products, bald women, mohawks, and a whole lot of drama...

It will be fierce! :)

*images are from the CW website

---------

na na na na na na na na na na na na... so you wanna be on top?

It feels like Christmas, perhaps even better!

So I was all set in marking this day as one of those ho-hum days that will not be remembered and will definitely not be part of my future auto-biographical masterpiece...

But just as I was to go to close my eyes to sleep, I got a text message from my brother's girlfriend:

"Nasabi ba sayo ng kuya mo, may package ka from us. Iwan ko sa sofa, ah?"
(Did your big brother tell you, you have a package from us. I'll leave it in the sofa, ok?)

Yes, she texted me even though we live in the same place... hehehe (perhaps she thought I was already sleeping)

I initially thought she said the package was "from them" (as in "from us"). Then I wondered, why would they get me something? It's not my birthday?! And why would they call it "package"?

I dismissed the idea of getting up from bed to figure out what it's all about. (Yes, I am THIS LAZY) But then finally, oxygenated blood found it's way to my brain and bam! Eureka! She meant package from U.S. (as in United States of America). Why am I such a dummy?!?!

And as I do not remember ordering any mail-order bride from the U.S., it can only mean one thing...

My Uh Huh Her CD is here!!!!

I threw-out my blanket and jumped out of my bed. I may have injured the "pinky" of my right foot (what the hell is it called anyway?) in the process. But it didn't matter... screw the little bastard, I have 4 more in that foot anyway, and they're bigger!

Here's the package...

I hurriedly opened the CD case to make sure there really is something inside... (it's the skeptic in me...)

So here I am... at 1:00AM, listening to the CD (making sure it's the real thing! hehehe... )

Damn... it's soooooo gooooood!!!

I know it's too early in my life to say this, but this has got to be the BEST album I have ever heard EVER...

I love myself for buying this for me... I love you, me. You're the best! (could any statement be so narcissistic? :) )

I never thought...

... eggs would make me this happy! :)

salamat sa itlog na pula, wengers! :) the best!!!

hhmmn... sarap!

i hate threads....

hate... hate... hate...

gangway! gangway! mad woman in the kitchen!

Because I firmly believe that a large part of my unhealthy state is caused by the fact that I eat a lot of crap, I attempted to make my own food (not in a photosynthesis kind of way...)

This marks my farewell to the oily and MSG-laden food in our local hawker centers.

--------

Since I wake-up pretty late, I've decided it's best to prepare my meals the night before I'm supposed to eat them.

So here's tomorrow's menu:

Tomorrow's breakfast (168 Cal):
2 slices high fiber white bread= 137Cal
Kaya spread (less than 10g) = 31Cal



I'll also have the same thing for snacks in the afternoon (168 Cal):


And for lunch(200Cal)...
may I present my first kitchen masterpiece in SG:
It's basically left over rice, all the decent vege's we have left-over in the fridge, and some vegetarian stuff I picked up in the grocery the other day.

1/2 cup of steamed rice = 103Cal
1/4 of a small onion = 4Cal
1/2 of a small tomato = 4Cal
4 stripes of bell pepper = 2Cal
1 vegetarian sausage = 59Cal
50 grams tofu = 28Cal

Cook the tofu and vegetarian sausage. Use a non-stick pan and use very little cooking oil.
Once cooked, add in the vege's and stir-fry of about less than 5 minutes. Use low heat.

After that, what we have is:


the abomination that is called tomorrow's lunch. Well, I have to start somewhere, right? Hopefully I'll get better with this cooking thing.


Total Calories before dinner:
Breakfast = 168
Lunch = 200
Snacks = 168
TOTAL = 536Cal


Dinner is still up in the air, but it will probably include some fruits...
good luck to me then!

Bon appetit!

drastic times...

I am unhealthy. I think I've known this for the longest time, but these past few days have been a real eye-opener for me.

I've tried in the past to live a healthy life, but my "lifestyle" just doesn't cut it. And now I need to pay the price.

I've gained weight and reduced my muscle mass in a span of less than a year. According to the doctor I've consulted, that kind of weight-gain is too drastic and in fact dangerous. In addition to that is the fact that I have high-blood pressure! Great! Just great! [insert sarcasm here]

I see red

I'm beginning to appreciate the color red lately. I have no idea why, but I'm just so drawn to red-colored items these past few days, which is weird, since I never really liked red.

I'm more of a "blue person". But now, when I see blue, I find myself sort of bored with it.

Like the other day, I was ogling over a pair of red Reebok cross-trainers. I want it real bad! Thing is, none of my current clothes would match it(Unless I have plans to be a walking Philippine flag).

Red shoes... I know! It is so not me. I used to think that the only acceptable reasons for anyone to wear red shoes are:

1. you are aged 5 and below, and
2. you're a hooker.

Given that I am neither (although #1 is highly debatable), I am finding my behavior lately pretty strange.

I was also eying a red wallet in the Wallet Shop the other day. (yes, there is a store here that only sells wallets. It puzzles me how the people who own this establishment can eat on a regular basis... I mean how many wallet does a person buy in his lifetime???)

Am I changing into a totally different person?! This is just too drastic, I think... Blue to Red?!? It's like listening to Mozart and then shifting to Cher...

Is this a sign of a quarter-life crisis? What's next, premature hair-loss??? What's wrong with me? (and again, why am I irrationally panicking?!)

But you know what, I'd really be disturbed if I start liking PINK?! Oh my, I bet the apocalypse is just around the corner by that time...

------------------------

p.s. I should stop window shopping. It is obviously not good for my health...

p.p.s. I changed my mind, I still want to window shop.

p.p.p.s. Get used to it. I may not look like it, but I'm a woman, damn it!

Could the day be any faster than a pregnant snail on anti-depressants?

It's Friday and time is crawling miserably here in the office... ang tagal ng 5:30!!!

I've managed to close all the tickets assigned to me this morning, so now I need to pretend like I'm actually doing something people here pay me for.... "Must.Look.Busy... Must.Look.Busy..."

Sabi na nga ba, dapat nag-work-from-home na lang ako!!! :(

Out of 7 people in our team, only 3 of us went to the office today. 2 are on vacation (including my manager), 1 is overseas, 1 is working from home.

I came in at 10:20am. By our team's standards, I came in at just the right time. Actually, nauna pa nga akong nakarating sa office kesa dun sa 2 kong teammates!

Nabasa ko na lahat ng blogs na I'm subscribed to... Pati WikiHow pinatulan ko na din. Today's how-to: How to eat durian. Yes, pathetic indeed.

Hay... Magbabasa na lang ako ng manual...

Oo, sya nga... (Yes, it's her)

... or more accurately, "Uh Huh Her". (get it? get it?)

What the hell am I talking about again, I hear you ask? I'm talking about my new favorite band: Uh Huh Her

Just how good are they? I just purchased their album online. (that is saying A LOT)


Mind you, I rarely buy anything from the internets... I trust no one, especially if it means divulging my credit card information. I'm neurotic, remember?

I can't wait for my package to arrive!!!

I've listened to some samples of their songs online. (some of them are in my playlist now ->)
So far, my favorite is "Wait Another Day" (ironic no?)

If you're not into techno music, you should be ashamed of yourself, you can listen to the live version in this video...


Wait Another Day

I look at the starlight,
I am shattered by the night
Always run where i can and
I hide where i wanna hide
But it feels so right,
I want it tonight
It feels so right

Oh, i went out of my mind
I am caught here
One more time
I know how it feels tonight
I can do nothing about it
But it feels so right,
I want it tonight
You feel so right

I will wait to love you
I will wait another day
For you i'd leave
All this behind
(oooh)
I will wait for you tonight
I will waste
Another dream on you
Always run to you, run

I will take the long road
But it leads right back to you
Follow you into the sun
I will steal this time for you

But it feels so right
I want it tonight
You feel so right

Oh, i will wait to love you
I will wait another day
For you i'd leave
All this behind
(oooh)
I will wait for you tonight
I will waste
Another dream on you
Always run to you

I will wait to love you
I will wait another day
For you i'd leave
All this behind
(oooh)
I will wait for you tonight
I will waste
Another dream on you
Always run to... you, run

lyrics from kovideo

Lust-worthy...

I WANT... WANT... WANT... (drool...)
The HTC Touch Pro... where power meets beauty, work meets play... and my bank account meets bankruptcy...

I was told the current price is 1,248 SGD... Well, I can always opt not to eat right?

I can't wait for my subscription contract to end so I can swap my mobile phone...

Click here for more info on why I have not-so-wholesome dreams about this baby...

I LOVE PINK... and I don't mean the color...

... I mean Pink the artist, or more accurately "P!nk"
And if you don't, then this might change your mind...

Sing along bitter people! (aren't we all??) :)






So What

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na

I guess i just lost my husband
I don’t know where he went
So i’m gonna drink my money
I’m not gonna pay his rent (Nope)
I got a brand new attitude
And i’m gonna wear it tonight
I wanna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
I wanna start a fight
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
I wanna start a fight

So so what?
I’m still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don’t need you
And guess what
I’m having more fun
And now that we’re done
I’m gonna show you tonight
I’m alright, I’m just fine
And you’re a tool
So so what?
I am a rockstar
I got my rock moves
And i don’t want you tonight

Uh, check my flow, uh

The waiter just checked my table
And gave to Jessica Simp-Shit!
I guess i’ll go sit with Tom boy
At least he’ll know how to hit
What if this song’s on the radio
Then somebody’s gonna die
I’m gonna get in trouble
My ex will start a fight

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
He’s gonna start a fight
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
We’re all gonna get in a fight!

So so what?
I’m still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don’t need you
And guess what
I’m having more fun
And now that we’re done
I’m gonna show you tonight
I’m alright, I’m just fine
And you’re a tool
So so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don’t want you tonight

You weren’t fair
You never were
You weren’t all
But that’s not fair
I gave you life
I gave my all
You weren’t there
You let me fall

So so what?
I’m still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don’t need you
And guess what
I’m having more fun
And now that we’re done (we’re done)
I’m gonna show you tonight
I’m alright(I’m alright),I’m just fine (I’m just fine)
And you’re a tool
So so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don’t want you tonight

No No, No No
I Don’t want you tonight
You weren’t fair
I’m gonna show you tonight
I’m alright, I’m just fine
And you’re a tool
So so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don’t want you tonight

Ba da da da da da

lyrics grabbed from musicloversgroup

------
"so what?! I'm still a rock star!"
-> best line ever!

Nothing says I'm CRAZY about you...

... better than Blondie's song, One Way or Another.

You may listen to it on my playlist ->
(watch-out for the great guitars between 1:50-2:14)

The song was released in 1979. Yes, it's ancient. This song is most probably older than you! But how can you not love a song this sweet, in an obsessed stalker-ish kinda way?

Sing-along, won't you?

One way or Another
by Blondie

One way or another I'm gonna find ya
I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha
One way or another I'm gonna win ya
I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha
One way or another I'm gonna see ya
I'm gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha
One day, maybe next week
I'm gonna meetcha, I'm gonna meetcha, I'll meetcha
I will drive past your house
And if the lights are all down
I'll see who's around

One way or another I'm gonna find ya
I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha
One way or another I'm gonna win ya
I'll getcha, I'll getcha
One way or another I'm gonna see ya
I'm gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha
One day, maybe next week
I'm gonna meetcha, I'll meetcha

And if the lights are all out
I'll follow your bus downtown
See who's hanging out

One way or another I'm gonna lose ya
I'm gonna give you the slip, a slip of the lip or another
I'm gonna lose ya, I'm gonna trick ya, I'll trick ya
One way or another I'm gonna lose ya
I'm gonna trick ya trick ya trick ya trick ya
One way or another I'm gonna lose ya
I'm gonna give you the slip

I'll walk down the mall
Stand over by the wall
Where I can see it all
Find out who ya call
Lead you to the supermarket checkout
Some specials and rat food, get lost in the crowd

One way or another I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha, I'll getcha getcha getcha getcha
(Where I can see it all, find out who ya call)
One way or another I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha, I'll getcha getcha getcha getcha
(Where I can see it all, find out who ya call)
One way or another I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha, I'll getcha getcha getcha getcha
(Where I can see it all, find out who ya call)
[repeat until fade]

lyrics courtesy of azlyrics

Oh! c'mon! you've got to be kidding me!?!

In Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist, he writes:

“What happens once will never happen again. But what happens twice will surely happen a third time.”

If this really does hold true, it looks like I'll be expecting to see Auntie Security Guard again in the near future.

After my little run-in with the law MRT security officials last week, one would expect that my MRT rides would be smooth-sailing, with the occasional MRT-mate that smells like whale poo (not that I know what whale poo smells like, I just wanted to stay in line with the theme of sailing... get it? get it? smooth-sailing, boats, sea, whale, poo... get it? get it?... No? Sadly, neither do I.)

Going back...

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Auntie Security Guard stopped me on my tracks to inspect my bag AGAIN?!?!

Really, Auntie?... Really??!?

So in light of recent day's events, I'd like to send Auntie an open letter:

Dear Auntie,

You suck!

Lovelots,
Neni

It's me! (in the cartoon world!)

In case you haven't noticed, I've put up a new avatar:

me being "platey"

I discovered a new "avatar-making" website: faceyourmanga.com
If this is old news for you, then I'm sorry. You're probably one of those cool kids who knows what's happening in the internets. (and you probably don't have a job!)

Does it look like me? Maybe if it ate a few more donuts, it might actually start to look like me... :)

WTF?! = Words That are F***ed-up?!

Who knew that "spoony" is a word? Even the spell-check here in blogger is telling me "what-the-f is that word, bozo?!?" (or at least that what it sounds like in my head when it puts a red underline on the words I'm typing here) MS Word even suggested I use "spooky" instead!

This was my word of the day last week. (yes, I'm subscribed to Dictionary.com, which gives testament to the unsurmountable boredom that is called my life)

I think Dictionary.com just ran out of words so they invented something to send me, me being trusting and all. (read: sucker)

Sometimes there are words which you can guess the definition of based on how you can imagine it's usage. This one, is definitely NOT one of them. Any takes on what "spoony" means? No, it's not "makuchara" or "madaming kuchara". (corny, I know, but admit it, for a second or two, you thought it was!)

Apparently, "spoony" means "foolishly or sentimentally in love"

--> Eeeeh? {must be said as though it's one of the voices in those learn-to-speak-Japanese tapes} I'm as puzzled as you are. (if you're not, then you're a f*ing geek who should join Dictionary.com!) Who invented this word? Hmmnn... probably the same guy who invented "forky"?!

Speaking of dining objects as vocabulary words, "platey" is yet to be defined. So as my contribution to the world (among other things, including my mere presence) I shall create a new word:

"platey" = unbelievably cool; neni-like; rad!
usage: I look absolutely platey today. (redundant? :) )

............

OMG... I know, I need to get a life. (a platey one, I hope!)

If you see any suspicious-looking person...

... that's probably me! Well, atleast for MRT officials!

Apparently, I look suspicious enough for MRT security officials to stop me as I was entering the station! (No, don't worry, I'm not writing this from prison...)

This morning, right after I tapped my ez-link card, a lady security guard approached me and asked if she could inspect the contents of my bag.

As we were walking towards the inspection table, I silently pondered the possible reasons why anyone would think I'm a "suspicious-looking person"

I did a very thorough self-check and asked myself critical questions in those precious few seconds:
- Did I forget to remove my fake moustache? (again?!)... Nope.
- Am I topless? Nope, it's not Wednesday.
- Did my brother taped a "BOMB INSIDE ->" note on my bag (again?! ... oh, wait, it was me who taped it on HIS bag)... Nope, my bag looks pretty decent.
- Am I wearing something "bin laden-esk"... I dunno, say an AK-47?... Nope
- Are my socks matching?... Nope... OMG! could this be it?

I was about to make a run for it, me being psychotic and all, thinking it would be really funny (you know, something to tell the grandkids someday). But I decided against it, since it would require too much effort on my part.

So I opened my bag.

Lady security guard: oh, a laptop eh?
Me: Yes [still thinking of making a run for it, and scream "for Allah!"... but that would mean leaving my bag behind... i have 2 sandwiches there, so no way in hell that would happen!]

Lady security guard: ah, no wonder so big?!
Me: Yes [wondering if she's referring to the bag or to me, since she also saw the sandwiches]

Lady security guard: ok. Thank you.
Me: Ok

I was quite tempted to make a joke about exploding cheese sandwiches, but I doubt she'd find it funny. But hey, atleast that joke won't require me to run!

------------

If you see any suspicious-looking person or article, please inform our staff or press the emergency communication button located at the side of the train door. Thank you...

name that stench!

Alam mo yung medyas na suot mo nung sumulong ka sa baha sa may Espanya habang suot mo yung bago mong leather shoes? Ilagay mo yun sa supot na blue ng SM habang basa pa, tapos ipasok mo yun sa loob ng lumang backpack mo nung highschool. Iwan mo dun ng mga 1 week. No, make that 2 weeks. Tapos nun, kunin mo at amuyin!

Ayon, saktong sakto! Yan ang amoy ng katabi ko kanina sa MRT!

congratulations!

congratulations to the newly weds she and carlo!
good luck to your life together!

God bless! :)

bitches, ties, and creepy replies

As I was sitting idly in my humble little cubicle, my seatmate looks at me weirdly and asks:

Seatmate: "Why are you wearing a tie?" {said as though it's not a question, it's more like saying "who the f*ck ate my lunch?!"}

As much as I'd like to give him a good spanking (not in a "fun" way) and give him a lesson on the equality of men and women, the implications and consequences of machismo and chauvinism in modern society, and more importantly Avril Lavigne's claim to fame, I calmed down my inner bitch and pulled out all the humor I can muster out of me and replied:

Me: "Because I caaaan..."
{for full effect, it must be said in the most retarded way possible, which of course I have successfully mastered...}

Seatmate: Oh... ok... {with a ginormous question mark hanging on his head}

{insert fantastically awkward silence, then background noise of keyboard strokes, and then vultures flying overhead...}

After a few minutes, I just realized that my reply was not as funny as it sounded in my head (I need to stop listening to those little voices)...

Looking back, it was actually kinda creepy...

Lesson learned: unleash your inner bitch... it's better to be bitchy than creepy... :)
(Or better yet...eat your seatmate's lunch without him knowing :) )

even my mp3 player is mocking me...

So I'm still here in the SG office, handling an urgent issue in our customer platform in Australia that must be solved by today. It's 1AM, and I'm here in the freakishly cold server room... how sad is that?
And as if Karma has finally found me after all my years of mocking, my mp3 player plays the song "No Sleep Tonight" by The Faders... (It's on my playlist here --->)

... you won't get no sleep tonight...

unfortunately not in a good way...